


My imaginary friend

by Babbling



Series: My imaginary friend [1]
Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band), ONF (Band), 믹스나인 | MIXNINE (TV)
Genre: After death, But only in the last chapters, Chan as Jason's best friend, Complete, Finally Chan, First Crush, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Hyojin of onf is now mentioned too wuhuu, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I have the story kind of planned out already, I just suddenly wanted to write this, I'm Sorry, Imaginary Friends, M/M, No Smut, Or Is he?, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sehyoon is dead, Slow Burn, Spoiler: Happy Ending, Timey-Wimey, Wowson - Freeform, a lot plot in the last chapters, ghost seyoon, kind of, maybe the last chapters will rip your heart apart, more angst coming, okay, only Seungjun of onf is mentioned, soft stans you are welcome, wowkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 21:53:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13533288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babbling/pseuds/Babbling
Summary: "Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing, you always wanted the most at the worst time possible..."Sehyoon lived his whole life studying and later working, to please his parents and get a good job.So, when he dies at the quite young age of 25, he feels like he has missed out on everything.But then, instead of heaven, he finds himself in his 12-year-old body in the bedroom of a little boy called Jason who wants nothing more than a best friend.The older is immediately wrapped around his finger and they quickly become inseparable. There is only one problem; nobody except Jason can see Sehyoon.So, how do you explain to your friends and family that you are falling in love with your imaginary best friend?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :D  
> I just really wanted to write a Wowson Ff and actually I didn't want to make it a really long one because I want to finfish it someday :")  
> But now I couldn't wait to post it so I'm doing that right now.
> 
> I really love A.C.E and I'm so happy that I knew them since before their debut. So I haven't missed anything :D  
> I have no idea how many people gonna read this, because A.C.E isn't that big yet and I don't know how many people read A.C.E FFs or how many want to read the stuff I'm producing, but never mind.
> 
> Edit: I just rewrote the beginning, because it kept bothering me and it was horrible. So to all the people that are reading this for the first time, you are lucky :")
> 
> Btw English is not my native language, so sorry for any mistakes or weird expressions. It's also the reason why I'm really slow at writing.
> 
> That was too long sorry :") Enjoy
> 
> (No matter, when you are reading this (and how old this ff is), always feel free to leave comments and kudos, bc I'll definitely answer and they alway make my days <3)
> 
> PLS know that I wrote this before BK changed his name, so that's why he is mostly called Jason (also it's his English name in the story)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I got twitter so if you want you can follow me [here](https://twitter.com/silbermond1999) :D come and fangirl together with me or stay informed about me not getting my lazy ass two write more ;")

Sehyoon should have known his life would end up this way.

The whole time he had spent it while studying and later working, without having much time to himself. Sometimes he had hated all the pressure, everyone was putting on him, so much that he had thought he could not stand it any longer. But it had worked. With 25 years, he was the youngest, to lead his own group in the company, he worked in. Everything seemed to finally become, like he wanted it to. He even got a date with a woman, he had been eyeing for some time by now.  
  
And then, he died.  
  
It wasn’t even his fault. The evening had been a rainy, dark one and Sehyoon wanted to merely cross the street like a normal human being, even doing so on a traffic light, when a truck hit him and presumably catapulted him over the whole street, pressing all air out of his lungs.    
  
At first, he felt nothing, then came the pain and it was overwhelming. Around him, he could hear all kind of noises, but they seemed to be too far away and didn’t get through to him. Suddenly he could feel a light touch on his face, softly caressing it and it seemed to ease the pain. With all strength left in him, he opened his eyes, to see who the person was. What he hadn’t expected though, was to come face to face with an angel. It had to be one, why else would someone this beautiful hold him while he was dying and cry about it? He was sure to even see a soft glow emanate from him. But even though he wanted to continue looking at the angel, he was too tired to keep his eyes open any longer and he gave into the urge to close them again. He was about to drift away, when he suddenly could hear the voice of the angel speak to him,

“Please, you can’t leave me, I love you.”  

These words were the only sounds that seemed to get through to Sehyoon, but he must have heard wrong. Why should an angel love him? Then he felt lips touching his forehead and again the pain disappeared for a moment.

“I love you.” Whispered the angel again, his voice full of despair and Sehyoon knew he had to take one last look at him, before he would die.

This time his sight was clearer and while scanning the face, he had the feeling, he should know it from somewhere. Unexcpectedly images, he couldn’t keep a hold of, raced through his head. Then all of a sudden, the pain came back and overrun him with full force, making it impossible for him to think about anything any longer. But the pain only stayed for a moment, before everything around Sehyoon became a dark, numb nothingness which completely swallowed him.  

 

* * *

 

The next time he regained consciousness, he felt as if he was lying on a soft carpet.  But it had to be a bed, right? He had to be in a hospital. Thank god, he hadn’t died.

Sehyoon slowly opened his eyes and blinked into the sudden bright light. After they had adjusted to it, he started looking around and faltered. His body seemed to indeed be lying on a carpet in a rather strange environment. It was a bedroom which reminded him of his own one, he had owned when he had been around six years old.  
The wall had a light blue shade and clouds were painted on the ceiling, complemented by small glowing stars which someone had stuck between them.  On the shelves on the walls and on the window-sill, was every inch covered with stuffed animals of all sorts and heights, and the blanked on the bed was Pokémon themed. Realization slowly dawned on him. He was apparently in a children’s room. But if that was the case, shouldn’t everything be smaller?  
  
While Sehyoon carefully got up, he waited for any pain but in the end, he felt nothing. No aches. Maybe it was a bad dream after all and he hadn’t died? He probably was still dreaming and that was the reason for him being in this room with furniture which was way too big, even now that he was no longer lying on the floor, but standing upright.  
  
_‘Two choices,’_ he thought _. ‘Either you find a way to wake up or…no. You got hit by a truck, maybe you are in a coma after all…’_  
  
Suddenly he could hear noises from somewhere downstairs,

“Jason! You can’t always just run away! Come here and talk to me or I can’t help you.” Somebody cried out, apparently a woman.  
  
“I don’t want to talk!” Answered an upset sounding voice.  
  
It was followed by quick footsteps and in the next second someone burst through the door. Sehyoon found himself standing eye in eye with a small boy with dark hair who stared back similar surprised.  
  
“Who are you? And what are you doing in my bedroom?” He asked astounded.  
  
He wanted to tell the kid that his name was Sehyoon and that he had no idea why the hell was in this room or how he came here, but he couldn’t do anything else than stare.  
The boy was obviously not older than 10 years old but he was still only a few inches smaller than Sehyoon and that couldn’t be possible. He was 176 cm tall. There was no way that a ten-year-old kid could be nearly the same height as him.  Confused he started to searchingly look around the room until he found a mirror. He quickly went to stand in front of it and gasped, unable to believe his eyes.  
Sehyoon looked right into the face of his own twelve-year-old self, wearing his old favorite Micky Mouse Pullover and still having the baby fat in his face, which he had lost in the process of puberty a long time ago. In a state of shock, he tried touching his hair and saw how the little boy in the mirror did the same.  
  
“But that is impossible! I’m a grown-up man! I’m soon gonna be 26 years old, how can I be…like this.”  
  
The other boy, probably Jason, watched him with a frown and cocked his head.  
  
“But you don’t look like a 26-year-old man…”  
  
“I know!” He responded and his voice sounded louder and more upset than he wanted it to.  
  
Jason flinched a little and Sehyoon immediately felt guilty.  
  
“Sorry…it’s just a lot to take in…” He apologized.  
  
Jason replied by smiling softly.

“Don’t worry. I’m used to people screaming at me…”  
  
Suddenly the door behind Jason was opened and a woman appeared in the doorway. She was thin, but not very tall and wore her hair in a tight, neat bun. She probably looked beautiful when she smiled, but right now her expression was far away from happy. Sehyoon stared at her, a little frightened what her reaction would be, to see a strange kid in the room of her son, but she didn’t even look at him.

“Who were you talking to?” She asked her son.

Jason looked as confused as Sehyoon felt. He opened his mouth to answer the question of his mother but she made a dismissive gesture with her hand.  
  
“Never mind, that is not important right now. What is though, is that you got into another fight at school.”  
  
She sighed and massaged her forehead.  
  
“Are they mean to you? Do they say bad stuff or why are you doing this?”  
  
 Her expression was full of worry but Jason kept silent.  
  
“How am I supposed to help you if you don’t talk to me? How will you ever get good grades if you never listen to your teachers and only cause trouble?”  
  
She seemed to become more upset now.  
  
“I told your father it’s a bad idea to come here. We should have stayed in Korea instead of moving to the other side of the world! If you suddenly change your mind and want to talk, I’m in the kitchen.”  
   
With these words she turned around and left the room, burying her head in her hands in frustration. Jason didn’t seem to be really affected by the words of his mother.  
He simply closed the door behind her and looked at Sehyoon with a thoughtful expression.  
  
“So…am I the only one who can see you?” He asked.  
  
Sehyoon shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“I don’t know, you two are the first people I’ve met so far…”  
  
They stood in silence.  
  
“What is the deal with you and your mother? What happened?” He ultimately couldn’t help but to ask.  
  
Jason’s features darkened but he quickly covered his true feelings with a smile.  
  
“I don’t know your name yet.”  
  
Little brat, already knew how to change subjects better than most people in his company.  
  
“Sehyoon,” he answered.  
  
Jason’s smile deepened.  
  
“My name is Jason. So now that you are here anyway, we can play right?”  
  
Seyhoon could barely hold back a laugh. He was nearly 26 years old. Why would he play with a little kid like Jason? But then he saw the big box with Lego which the other boy had conjured from under his bed and all his resolutions flew out of the window.  
  
“You have the Lego death star?! And a star destroyer!”    
  
He felt how excitement spread in him.  
  
“My parents never wanted to get me one. They said it would be wasted money. Didn’t they already stop producing them a while ago?”  
  
Jason grinned.  
  
“No, they are new. If you want to be my friend I can share everything with you. What is mine is also yours.”  
  
And like this, they became friends. At least until he would wake up again, Sehyoon swore himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing probably sounds like the writing of a total beginner on wattpad but I really need to practice more in English, then it's gonna be better in the future :")  
> I hope some of you will still give it a chance :)
> 
> Edit: Just believe me, when I tell you that the chapters are getting better and better


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I'm already back because I have time, seemingly no friends and live and too much fun writing this, even though I feel like a snail or turtle with the tempo I'm writing in.
> 
> I also facepalm myself most of the time because I feel like a total beginner again because of my English xD  
> So please overlook weird sentences :")
> 
> Btw, so nobody is confused, I’ve decided to change Jason’s and Seyhoon’s age a little bit.  
> That’s why Jason is 10 years old and Seyhoon 12 for now. I also decided to make the age gape 2 years, so it isn’t too big

It needed two months until Sehyoon gave up on hoping he would wake up in his own body again at any moment.

Meanwhile he slipped into Jason’s life as if he had always been there and with every new day, he learned to appreciate and love the younger more.  
They seemed to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle and after some time they were inseparable.  
Still, it took some time for the older boy to adjust himself in his new environment.

 

In his first night which Sehyoon spent with Jason, he had insisted on sleeping on the floor.  
Jason had only looked at him with raised eyebrows but still helped setting up a blanket and pillow on the carpet next to his bed, without trying to convince him otherwise.   
Sehyoon kept it up for 6 full days until he accepted Jason’s invitation to just share the bed.   
In the end, the carpet was not really comfortable, even though it looked extremely soft and fluffy.

Some weeks later, at night, when the two were lying next to each other and looked at the glowing stars on the ceiling over their heads, he asked again,

“What problems do you have in school and why don’t you tell your mother about them?”  
  
Jason sighed.  
  
He thought he wouldn’t get an answer like last time but then the little boy suddenly started to talk,  
  
“Because she can’t help me anyways and it would make everything only worse…   
Some years ago, my parents decided to move. I might be still a child but even I know it wasn’t an easy decision for them…they argued a lot and still do…,” he made a short pause before he continued,  
  
“When we came here, I had already learned some English but at the time I entered school, the other kids thought I sounded funny and they started to mock me by imitating the way I talked…”  
  
Sehyoon felt anger raging through his body and he clenched his fist.   
Sometimes he really hated children.

“After a while my English got a lot better and their teasing stopped. But then… _he_ came into my class…and everything got even worse.”  
  
“Who is _he_ and what has he done?”  
  
_‘What is his name? Where can I find him, and are there any ways to threaten him?’_ Were also on Sehyoon’s list of important questions he wanted to ask.  
He was already taking notes about information on _him_ in his head, so he could stop _him_ from hurting the little boy any longer.   
He might know Jason for only a few weeks but he had never felt such a deep need to protect someone before in his entire life.

“His name is Lucas…and he…does all sorts of things.”  
  
Jason responded vaguely.  
  
“Like what, for example?”   
  
Jason kept silent for a while. When he answered it was hard for Sehyoon to understand him because he talked so quietly,  
  
“He said I’m ugly because of my eyes and told all the other kids in my class that my family would eat dogs, so now nobody wants to be my friend because they think I kill little puppies. But that isn’t true! We would never eat dogs…I really like to pet them.”

Seyhoon felt how Jason became more and more upset. He looked at the older, like he was afraid he would call him a dog murderer too and leave on the spot.  
It hurt him to see the younger this way, because he was usually like a permanently shining sun, always happy and smiling.    
Before he realized what, he was doing, he pulled Jason into a tight, comforting hug.   
  
“I know,” he whispered into his hair.   
  
Could this all be really just a dream?  
How was he capable of imagining all this and especially the little boy with his complicated, different emotions?   
His thoughts seemed to wander in circles.   
  
Meanwhile Jason had snuggled closer to Seyhoon who thought it would be the best to just leave his thoughts like that for now and concentrate on the current situation.   
  
“I’m so happy I met you. Now I finally have my own friend too.”

Jason mumbled sleepily.  
  
Then he fell asleep in Seyhoon’s arms and the older decided, he would accompany him to school the next day.   
No one was allowed to bully his cute little sunshine.  
Not as long as he was by his side.

Maybe Sehyoon was dead after all and this was his new task before he could enter heaven or something similar.  
If that was the explanation, he would better do a good job.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day he put his plan into action.

Jason watched him in confusion when he, instead of after waking the younger up, helping him make breakfast and making sure he wasn’t late for classes like every day since they had met, Sehyoon didn’t stay at home but also left the house, together with him.  
  
“Are you going somewhere?” He asked bewildered.   
  
The older looked at him and grinned.  
  
“School,” was his simple answer.  
  
Jason frowned.   
  
“But didn’t you say that because you are already 25 and graduated from school a long time ago, you don’t need to go there anymore?”  
  
“That is true but I’m getting bored all alone without you at home.”   
  
He said and nudged the little boy playfully in the side. Jason couldn’t hide his smile which bloomed on his face after Sehyoon’s words and he started jumping happily.   
  
But when they reached the school his joy lessened perceptibly and his footsteps became slower and slower until he stopped in front of the school gate.  
Over it was a banner, on which probably had been written “Feel well” some years ago but someone had changed the ‘w’ to an ‘h’ and Seyhoon thought that fit much better.   
  
He looked at Jason worriedly.  
  
“You don’t want to go in?”   
  
Jason shook his head.  
  
“Listen,” Sehyoon reached for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.  
  
“We gonna go in there together okay? They can’t see me anyway and I promise you after today, this boy…Alex…”

“Lucas…” he was corrected.

“Sure, Hugo…he’ll leave you alone.”  
  
The younger stared at him in disbelief.   
  
“Really?”  
  
Seyhoon nodded and smiled.   
  
“I promise.”

  
Something like determination lit up in Jason’s eyes.  
   
“Okay,” he said and took the final steps into the school.

 

* * *

 

   
Lucas…the name alone was disgusting but the boy with the blond hair and pale, smug face was another league. The first time he saw him, Seyhoon really wished he would be able to also touch other people than just Jason.  
  
He still hadn’t quite gotten the whole ‘ _only Jason can see you and you can move things but it’s kind of complicated if other people are around and they never seem to notice anything thing’_.  
  
As soon as Jason entered the classroom, accompanied by Sehyoon, whom nobody could see, Lucas jumped up from his chair and walked over to them.   
God, he was even taller than Seyhoon…another reason to dislike him.  
  
“Hey dog murderer. Didn’t I tell you we don’t want people like you here, last week?”  
  
“Just ignore him,” Sehyoon whispered and Jason tried his best to follow the advice while he walked past Lucas and took his seat.  
  
The bully watched him and the older could swear he saw something like confusion shimmering in his eyes.   
Then he followed them.   
_‘Of course, he couldn’t just let it be,’_ Seyhoon thought annoyed and rolled his eyes.  
Meanwhile Jason had tried to make himself as small as possible.    
  
“What should I do now?” He asked.  
  
He thought for a moment.  
  
“Tell him to meet you in the lunch break. Alone”  
  
Jason looked at him in horror.   
  
“Are you insane?! He’ll kill me!”  
  
“No he won’t, I have a plan. Trust me.”  
  
The younger swallowed.   
  
“All right…”

“Who are you talking to? Are you not only a dog murderer but also crazy?”   
  
Lucas laughed, while the other children mostly ignored them.  
Sehyoon smiled encouragingly.   
  
“I…want you to…to… meet me…at lunch.” Jason stuttered.  
  
Lucas looked at him in disbelieve.   
  
“What? I…c…couldn’t…understand…you.” He imitated him and laughed again.  
  
Reassuringly, the older put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.   
  
“I said, I want you to meet me here. In the lunch break. Alone.”   
  
This time his voice was confident.  
  
Even though Lucas tried to hide it, it was clear that he was confused.  
He laughed once again and Sehyoon wanted nothing more than to just do anything so he wouldn’t have to hear it any longer.   
  
“If that’s your wish…see you later, loser,” were his lasts words before he finally left them alone.  
  
The older shook his head. _Loser…what an insult…_  
Before he could say anything about his plan, the bell rang and the teacher entered the class room.   
Jason would find out soon enough anyway.  
Or more precisely in religion class, because they both agreed it wasn’t that important.   
  


Then the time came. Lunch break.  
While everybody else happily went to the cafeteria, Seyhoon, Jason and Lucas were the only ones that stayed behind.  
The latter slowly turned to them and grinned dangerously.  
  
“So, what is it that you want from me?” He asked and walked closer.  
  
Jason took a deep breath before he answered with a clear, steady voice.  
  
“I want you to leave me alone. Forever!”  
  
“What happened to you? Since when are you…like this?”  
  
When he didn’t get an answer he sighed.   
  
“Give me a good reason why I should leave you alone, even though it’s so much fun to tease you.”  
  
“Because I have an invisible ghost friend and if you won’t leave me alone, he’ll hunt you!”  
  
For a short moment Lucas looked like he would laugh again but then, to proof Jason’s point, Sehyoon gathered all his strength and threw Jason’s pencil case at him.   
It hit Lucas on the head with a dull sound and the boy screamed with a mixture of horror and pain.  
He looked around the room in confusion.   
When he couldn’t see anyone except Jason, he stared at him with a scared expression.  
Then, as fast as possible, he turned around and ran out of the classroom.  
  
Jason laughed and Sehyoon joined in until he remembered that he was actually a 25-year-old man who had just frightened a ten-year-old kid.   
Still, the little brat deserved it and maybe he would learn his lesson and leave other children alone from now on.  
  
Suddenly he felt Jason pressing his body against him.   
He returned the hug and gently stroke his dark hair.  
  
“Thank you.” The younger whispered and pulled him even closer.  
  
Then he looked up at him and smiled.  
  
“You are the best person I’ve ever met.”  
  
A warm feeling spread in Sehyoon and he smiled back.  
  
“You are also the best person I’ve ever met.”  
   
While he said it, he knew it was true. Even though he had lived for 25 years, he had never met a person like Jason before.   
Suddenly the thought of waking up scared him and he wanted to never let the younger go again.

“Good that he couldn’t see you though.” Jason chuckled and freed himself from Sehyoon’s arms.  
  
“What, why?”  
  
“Because you really don’t look frightening. He was even taller than you! Are you sure that you are 25 years old?”  
  
Sehyoon gasped offended.   
  
“You really need to learn to respect your Elders, you little brat.”

From this day on they always went to school together and Lucas never bothered Jason again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw I don’t have anything against the name Lucas or people with that name xD  
> Sehyoon too, he just hates this stupid little kid…
> 
> And thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos :D they really made my days :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read a whole article about kids with imaginary friends and they are seemingly more creative and social outgoing but need something to regulate their emotions…? They are not mental ill but I knew that already.  
> It fits my Jason tho xD 
> 
> And this chapter actually wasn’t supposed to even exist. I’ve written the next one already but I didn’t like the big time gap and wanted to put something in between, like a cute little scene but it kind of ended up being a whole chapter…whhoopes.  
> Ahh, and before someone asks; yes I’m addicted to Wowson cuddling and hugging in my story okay :”D they are just too cute *-* like…expect them to hug at least once in every chapter…  
> But I’m mean it’s the same in real life, right. They always touch each other. If you haven’t noticed yet, watch their videos and try paying attention to it.
> 
> Have fun :D

“Jason, time to wake up!”

The younger responded with grumbling softly and turning away from Sehyoon.  
There probably hadn’t been a day when he just got up right away.  
  
The older shook his head, grinning, while he bend over Jason.  
  
“Today is your first day of Highschool.”  
  
No reaction at all.  
All right then.

Seyhoon got even closer, so his head was next to Jason’s ear before he whispered,  
  
“You asked for this,” and started to tickle the other boy who was immediately wide awake.  
  
The only problem was, he also started to kick after Sehyoon with his feed and it did not take long, before the older found himself sitting on the carpet, holding his right cheek, because Jason’s foot had hit him there.  
  
His attacker was next to him, right away.  
  
“Oh my God, Sehyoon! I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hit you, really! But you know what happens when you tickle me.”  
  
He pouted and got an annoyed glance from the older.  
  
“When there is no other way to get you out of bed every morning. Now go and wash up before your mother comes upstairs because she thinks your alarm broke and you overslept or something…”  
  
He wanted to get up but was stopped by Jason who looked at him with big, sad puppy eyes and pulled him back on the floor.

“Does it hurt a lot?” He asked while carefully stroking the injured cheek.  
  
Sehyoon nodded, still a little sulky, and looked away.  
Then he suddenly felt Jason’s lips softly pressed against the right side of his face.  
He froze astonished.  
As quickly as Jason had kissed him, it was over and Sehyoon looked at him in a state of confusion.   
  
“You and mom always have done that when I got hurt and it helps a lot. So, I figured it would help you too.” He explained and his face turned a little pink.   
Seyhoon was positively surprised.  
Jason could be a little brat sometimes but he had never met such a soft, precious soul before.  
  
“It did. Now I’m a lot better, thanks. But do you know what would also really help me? You getting ready for school right now.”  
  
Jason nodded, full of energy.   
  
“Okay!” He said and was nearly out of his room when he suddenly turned around and came back again.  
  
Sehyoon sighed.  
   
“Didn’t I just tell you to hurry up or--”   
  
At this moment the younger threw himself on him and hugged Seyhoon tightly.  
  
“Even though I might make new friends today,” he said and snuggled his face into the crook of his neck,   
“You’re still gonna be my best friend. You should know that.”  
  
Then he ran out of the room and left the older sitting on the floor, staring behind him.

  


While Jason was in the bathroom to get ready for school, Sehyoon went downstairs to make him some breakfast in the kitchen.  
He usually never met Jason’s parents, because they went out for work early every morning, but today both of them sat at a set table.   
He stopped in the doorway and frowned, before he slowly walked closer, even though they were unable to see him anyways.  
  
“Are you sure he’ll come down soon? If not, he’ll be late for school and it’s his first day…,”  
Jason’s mother said with a worried glance at the clock on the wall.  
  
“Don’t worry, Jason is a big kid now. He already woke up on his own for elementary school and was never late for classes. He probably just takes his time today, because he’s nervous. It’s a new school after all and you know how hard it was for him the last time.”  
  
His mother sighed.  
  
“I only wish he would use his creativity in a useful manner. Some days ago, he told me I didn’t need to worry about waking him up or making his school lunches, because Sehyoon would do that for him already and I should rather go to work early, so my boss doesn’t scold me again…”

“Sehyoon…?” His father asked confused.  
  
“His invisible friend.”  
  
“Isn’t he a bit old for something like that?”  
  
Jason’s mother threw her arms in the air, full of resignation.   
  
“I know! But whenever I try to tell him that Sehyoon isn’t real, he starts to get really angry at me…”  
  
Sehyoon felt the cold slowly starting to spread in his body.  
  
Right, this all was not real after all. He nearly had forgotten after all these years, he had spent with Jason.

Jason’s parents both didn’t say anything for a moment before his mother continued,  
  
“I read an article on the internet about it and they said that children often invent an imaginary friend in a stressful time to regulate their emotions or something similar. Studies showed that they aren’t a sign of bad mental health but…they probably talked about five-year-olds and not a 14-year-old, right?”  
  
She seemed to get more upset by now.  
  
“I just…what have we done wrong? What should we change? I need to know!”  
  
Her husband laid a reassuring hand on her arm.  
  
“He’s getting into Highschool now, where he can start new. Maybe this imaginary friend will go away soon on its own, if he finds some real friends…Don’t worry, everything is gonna be fine.”  
  
Jason’s mother nodded, but probably more to convince herself than to agree.  
  
“Yes…you are right…”   
  
Suddenly there were footsteps on the stairs and Jason appeared in the doorway.  
He looked surprised but happy to see both of his parents sitting at the table.  
  
“Mom! Dad! You are not at work?” He asked.  
  
His mother smiled and put some food on Jason’s plate while he placed himself next to her.  
  
“We took a day off, so we could accompany you on your first day of Highschool.”  
  
“We didn’t want you to feel lost.” Added his father, also smiling.  
  
Jason started eating happily.  
  
“That’s cool,” He said with a full mouth, “but you wouldn’t have needed to bother taking a day off for this. I won’t feel lonely.”  
  
“Really?” His parents looked surprised.   
  
“Of course. Sehyoon is gonna be next to me, right?”  
  
Jason smiled at Seyhoon who returned it but not without noticing the glances which Jason’s parents shared.   
  
He knew that soon, everything would start getting different.  


* * *

 

  
The way to school was kind of awkward.  
Sehyoon normally tried his best to avoid spending time with Jason and his parents in the same room at the same time, but today he had no other choice.  
So he slowly walked behind them, leaving some space in between.  
Jason didn’t even notice. He was too happy to spend time with his parents.  
It kind of hurt Sehyoon because again, he could see that even though Jason pretended otherwise, the younger really missed them and it reminded him of himself.  
  
Sehyoon’s own mother and father had worked a lot too, so he could attend a good school and spend his own time studying, to get a good job later.  
He knew his parents had only wanted the best for him but in the end he still had felt lonely most of the time.  
  
They reached the school and Jason’s mother turned to her son.  
  
“Do you want us to go in with you? Will you find your classroom?”  
  
Jason shook his head.   
  
“I’m gonna be okay mom. I’m smart, remember? And I have Sehyoon too. He has done this once already, so we’ll be fine.”  
  
His mother didn’t seem relieved at his words and shifted uneasily, but before she could say anything else, Jason had hugged her and his father and turned to Sehyoon.  
  
“Let’s go!”  
  
He waved to his parents one last time, before they entered the next phase of his life together.

* * *

 

Inside, the school was busy.

Everywhere they looked were students, searching for their rooms and friends or loudly chatting with classmates.   
Nearly all of them were taller than Jason and mostly ignored the freshman, who was searching for his own room.  
Sometimes the two also saw other new students who looked similar lost.  
  
While Jason attempted to find his destination, Sehyoon tried his best to sidestep everyone that wasn’t his younger friend.   
Because he maybe was being able to touch him, but everybody else just went right through him, as if he was some kind of ghost, and he hated that feeling with passion.  
But avoiding people was really hard if you are standing in the middle of a moving crowd.

“Do you have any idea where we have to go?” Asked Jason, just a little desperate.  
  
Because of the bustle, nobody seemed to notice him, seemingly talking to himself.  
Sehyoon, who was still the taller one of the two, looked around before he shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“Maybe we should walk around some more? I think there must be an announcement somewhere. We could take a look back, in the main entrance. Maybe there-- “  
  
At that moment he suddenly felt someone walking right through him and he froze and shuddered.  
Meanwhile, the other person collided with Jason who screamed startled.  
  
“Oh no! I’m sorry! I was just searching for my room and too focused on the door sign, so I didn’t see you…I’m really really sorry.” The rude boy started apologizing.  
  
Seyhoon gave him an angry look, while Jason rubbed his aching upper arm.  
  
“It’s…nothing. But by any chance, do you know where the freshmen have to go?”  
  
Instantly the face of the other boy lit up like a candle.  
  
“It’s your first day?”  
  
Jason nodded.  
  
“Awesome! Mine too! I was just searching for my room…it has to be somewhere near. Which class are you in?”  
  
Without waiting for an answer, he looked at the sheet in Jason’s hand.  
  
“Oh!”  
  
His eyes grew even bigger than they already were.   
  
“We are in the same class! How cool is that?”  
  
The boy grinned before he reached for Jason’s arm, so he could drag him along.   
  
Sehyoon was just about to take Jason out of this school again. Apparently, it was more of a madhouse than a Highschool.   
But Jason didn’t seem to mind the other boy’s behavior.  
He even smiled at him, so he decided to wait a little longer and see what else would happen.  
  
“Voila, our room!” Rude-boy said, as they stopped in front of a classroom with a big, colorful sign, which wrote: “Welcome, Freshmen class 2”   
  
“Thanks” Jason uttered and wanted to go inside when the other stopped him,  
  
“Wait! What is your name?”  
  
“Jason,” he responded and the boy grinned at him.  
  
“Nice to meet you, Jason. My name is Yuchan but you can just call me Chan.”  
  
Sehyoon watched Jason smile and them shaking hands and relaxed a little.  
Maybe Rude-boy wasn’t that rude after all.  
  
“Do you know anyone in our new class?” Chan wanted to know.  
  
He got a shake of the head as answer.  
  
“Me neither…so…do you maybe want to sit next to me?”  
  
His expression was full of hope.  
  
“Yeah…why not?”  
  
Before Jason could say anything more, he was pulled into a hug by Chan.  
  
And like this Chan became Jason’s second-best friend.  
He came over often and Seyhoon watched them play video games for hours, without being able to participate but he didn’t mind.  
Surely he got a little jealous sometimes but Chan turned out to be a funny, cheerful boy who made Jason laugh a lot and Seyhoon was happy that he had finally found someone else who also appreciated his beautiful character.  
  
For him, Jason’s happiness was more important than his own and he didn’t know if that should scare him or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh finally, Chan is there <3  
> I also planned to have the other member in it, but the ff is mainly focused und wowson so they are not gonna be in it that much (even tho I love them too) 
> 
> Once again, thanks for all your comments and kudos <3  
> They make me really happy :D
> 
> I hope you all gonna keep liking and supporting my ff, thaaaanks :D
> 
> Btw my goal is to finish writing this ff by the end of my vacations and thats why there are some bigger time gaps or it's not that detailed bc I don't have enough time to write a really long ff. (I have like five days left...:"))  
> If I have some time, still fun and any of you are interested, I'll maybe add some scenes later of stuff that happend in between the chapters :) byee


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm sorry, this is the shortest out of all my chapters (I think) but it's also kind of standing alone so I didn't want to add it to another one :/  
> I would have uploaded another one this coming week to compensate it but I'll spend the next week in Paris and probably won't be able to upload anything at all. (So if I'm not responding to comments, it's also because of that)  
> I'm excited because I plan to find some kpop shops and finally buy some merch :D (and bc it's Paris obv xD)
> 
> Don't worry, the next chapter will be longer again :) and slowly a bit more will be happening.  
> I'm writing on the last chapter at the moment and just know that I've thought about something quite cool (at least in my opinion lol)
> 
> Have fun reading, like always, and thank you all <3

 

“Oh, c’mon Seyhoon! Every day you are telling me that it’s actually super easy and you’ve still memorized everything but you won’t help me in the exam? That’s not fair! I thought we were friends.”  
  
Seyhoon rolled his eyes in annoyance.  
  
“We are and that’s why I want you to learn it yourself, instead of cheating.”  
  
“But it’s not really cheating if you tell me the right answer. You are a part of my imagination after all and therefore the answers must be somewhere in my subconscious, right?”   
Seyhoon felt a sharp pain in his heart.  
  
After Jason had entered Highschool and still seemed to believe in this weird imaginary friend, he swore was real but nobody except him could see, his parents had decided they needed to do something.   
So, one afternoon his mother dragged a crying and screaming Jason to a child therapist, with the hope her son would finally understand that the boy called Seyhoon, he was always talking about, was not real.   
At the beginning Jason did everything he could, to not have to go to the sessions and later, when they were cuddling in bed before sleeping, they both laughed about the stuff his therapist had told him.   
But after some time, his resistance became less and Sehyoon knew that he also started to doubt his sanity. And how could he blame him?  
  
These days, he still talked to him when they were alone but he was careful to always ignore him while someone was around.   
Although Seyhoon understood the reason for it and supported Jason’s decision, so he could feel more comfortable, it still hurt him.     
But at least he hadn’t screamed at him, to leave him alone or similar, because if Jason told him to go, he would. Even though he had no idea where to.  
  
A sulky snort transported him back to reality.   
  
By now Jason was sixteen years old and that meant he was knee-deep into puberty.  
It made living with him not easier and Seyhoon felt more like a parent than his friend most of the time. Jason’s parents maybe didn’t know it but he supported them in any way he could, in the task to raise a decent young man.   
Unfortunately, that also meant he had to regularly feel Jason’s mood swings.   
The problem was he had to fight through his own puberty for the second time too and he wished he would have got spared of that. He was dead after all, right?  
So why had he to live through this whole _‘I’m really emotional right now and don’t know why’_ and _‘I have no idea why I’m crying’_ thing again?  


“It’s late, we should sleep now.”  
  
“I would but I have to learn this stuff until tomorrow because my _friend_ doesn’t want to help me!”  
  
Sehyoon let out a deep sigh _.  
‘Don’t lose your cool…’_ he reminded himself _‘be patient.’_  
  
“It isn’t that much and I’m gonna help you learn it until the exam, tomorrow. I’m good at stuff like this, you know. You will be able to do it alone in the exam, promise.”  
  
Jason still didn’t show any kind of reaction.  
The older bit his lower lip.   
Okay, so he needed to use the stopgap. This one usually worked on the younger, even when he was in a bad mood.  
  
Sehyoon put on a pout and reached out his hands to him, like a four-year-old to his mother when he wanted to be picked up.   
  
Then he started to whine,  
  
“Jasoooon…come on! I’m cold and tired and I want to cuddle!”  
  
He hated to act cute but Jason could never withstand it, so he used it quite often these past couple days. This time again, it did not let him down.  
With a pout, similar to his own, and crossed arms Jason came over to him and sat down on the bed.   
  
“So, do you want to cuddle or not?” The younger grumpily asked, after Seyhoon had not done anything else than looking at him.   
  
The older grinned in response, before he let himself fall on his back, pulling Jason with him.   
The latter tried to maintain his defensive, stiff posture but failed miserably as soon as Seyhoon started to stroke his back in a circular motion. Sometimes he reminded him of a cat.  
For a while they just lay there, without saying anything.  
  
Then after some time, Jason sighed contentedly and pressed his body closer to Sehyoon.  
   
“I don’t understand how you can’t be real. There is no way my imagination could be this outstanding.”  
  
Sehyoon stiffened, then he pulled Jason even closer.   
He tried to let his voice sound carefree when he answered,  
  
“What am I supposed to say here? Some years ago, I was hit by a truck and now I’m nearly ten years younger and cuddling with a little brat in his bed. Tell me something about imagination…”  
  
Jason froze and looked at the older with keen eyes.   
Seyhoon noticed that it was the first time he had talked about his death or life he had lived before he had met Jason.  
  
“What was your life like?” He asked quietly after some moments passed.  
  
“Exhausting…most of the time.”   
  
Sehyoon laughed but it didn’t sound really happy.  
  
“Where did you live? Were you rich?”  
  
“Seoul…and I wouldn’t call myself rich but I earned enough to not worry about money.”  
  
“Cool!” Jason said thrilled.   
  
Sehyoon wasn’t so sure if he still would have called his life cool. While living with the younger he had learned that there were many more important things in the world than earning money and driving expensive cars.  
Again some time passed and he got the feeling, Jason wanted to ask something but was not sure if he should.   
  
“What is it?”   
  
Sehyoon felt him flinch slightly and grinned. He had been right.  
  
“Did you have a family…Children…and a wife?” Jason asked hesitantly.  
  
He shook his head.   
  
“No…I was single. Actually, I wanted to go on a date on this day…”  
  
“Really? With a woman?” Jason suddenly seemed very interested.   
  
“Who else?”

“Did you…like her?”  
  
Sehyoon thought about the question for a moment, before he answered,  
  
“I liked her appearance and position. She would have fit the taste of my parents too but I didn’t know her enough to decide whether I really liked her or not.”    
  
“Were you handsome?”   
  
This took him by surprise and he looked at the younger in confusion.  
 Jason stared back with big, round, innocent eyes and interest written on his face.  
  
“I think so…? Many girls in my Highschool wanted to date me and even later I had a lot of admirers.”  
  
He couldn’t help it but feel proud.   
Jason nodded, seemingly in deep thoughts.   
  
“I can believe that,” he said quietly and more to himself than Sehyoon.   
  
The latter chuckled.   
  
“Of course! I’m already handsome at this age, again.”   
  
He ruffled Jason’s hair with his right hand, so that it stood out in all directions, while smirking.  
As a result he earned a hit in his side and groaned.   
  
“Narcissistic piece!” Jason mumbled and turned around.  
  
Even though Seyhoon tried, he was unable sleep that night.   
He had too many thoughts and questions in his head, he couldn’t answer. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nooo...I'm totally not addicted to them cuddling...not at all...*cough* *cough*  
> And we've learnt at least a little bit about Sehyoon's past life...jay :D
> 
> Comments are always appreciated <3 Thank you so much for the ones, I've already gotten :D (Sorry I just can't help but repeat it over and over again :"))


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh finally this chapter! *-*
> 
> And yep, that’s right. I’ve put Seungjun of onf into this ff as well.  
> You guys should know, I’m total multifandom trash and I love all my groups and one of them (besides A.C.E) is onf (on and off). They are a new group like A.C.E and they are also soooo lovely and talented and cute.  
> The ones of you that watched mixnine should know them because they participated in the show too and they were quite close with Sehyoon, Donghun and Jason (Minseok and Hyojin are in the debut group as well, btw)  
> Firstly I wanted to put Hyojin in my ff but I thought Seungjun would fit better  
> If you don’t know them, you should definitely check them out. I fell immediately in love with Minseok when I watched their first “on the run” episode (he’s just too cute omg).  
> Sorry, I know this is an A.C.E ff but I wanted to have them in it too…lol
> 
> Now, have fun <3

“Ey, Jason!”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
The younger slightly turned to Sehyoon, while pretending to listen to the teacher in the front.  
  
“Stop staring at Chloe and start paying attention to the class! Or how else do you think you’ll get through your final exams and be able to graduate?” Scolded Sehyoon him.  
  
“I wasn’t staring at Chloe!” Jason whispered back angrily but louder than intended.  
  
Chan next to him looked at him baffled.  
  
“You haven’t done anything else the past hour…but why do you suddenly want to convince me, you didn’t?” He whispered back, confused.  
  
“Jason, Chan…are you paying attention or do you want to share something with the class?”  
Their teacher glanced at them unpleasant.  
  
Chan put on his nicest smile.  
  
“Of course we were paying attention. What else should we do in class, this close to our finals?”  
  
The teacher raised his eyebrows.  
  
“Really? Well, then Jason can surely tell us what the reason for the first world war was, right?”  
  
“Huuuh…,” the boy looked around in panic, hoping to find the right answer in one of his classmates faces but without any success. The most of them probably hadn’t been listening too.  
  
“Well that was because…,” he stammered.  
  
“Because the Austrian heir to the throne, called Franz Ferdinand, was shot by a Serbian assassin.” Said Sehyoon, nearly sounding bored and definitely annoyed.  
   
Jason repeated it, as self-confident sounding as possible, and by the perplexed expression on the face of his history teacher, he could tell that it must have been the right answer.  
He started to relax again but his teacher seemingly didn’t want to let him off so quickly.  
  
“When?” Was his simple question.  
  
The older behind him rolled his eyes at Jason obviously not knowing the answer again, although the whole past hour had been about nothing else. But hey…Jason had been busy _not_ staring at this blond girl named Chloe, sitting some rows in front of him. 

“28. July 1914” Sehyoon answered for his hopeless case of friend and saved his skin for probably the 100th time this year, when the sudden ringing of the school bell signalized the end of the class and therefor also the school day.  
  
Everybody got up as fast as possible and sprinted out of the stuffy room, into the fresh, warm spring air.  Chan and Jason were no exceptions.

  
  
On their way home, Sehyoon was quiet. Not because he was angry or didn’t want to talk but because Chan was with them, as nearly always. It wouldn’t keep him from speaking to Jason but the boy talked the whole way to Jason’s house, seemingly without needing to breath even once.  
  
“God…when our teacher wanted to know all these facts of you, I thought it would be over for both of us. But you seem to be either really smart or really good at guessing.”  
  
Chan laughed.  
  
“I know you for quite some time now but you still keep on surprising me.”  
  
 Jason only smiled awkwardly, before he changed the subject,  
“I’ve got the game, we talked about last week.”  
  
Chan’s eyes lit up in excitement and the history class was immediately forgotten.  
  
“You haven’t! Oh my god! I can’t wait to finally play it. Come on, let’s walk a little faster!”  
  
He quickened his pace and Sehyoon and Jason stayed back alone.  
  
“Nice safe…,” he said, a little impressed and the younger grinned at him.  
  
“I’m getting better and better. It’s starting to become kind of a hobby…”  
  
Then he followed Chan who had already nearly reached his home.  
  
“Come on, grandpa!” He called back over his shoulder when Sehyoon didn’t also started to walk immediately.  
  
The older snorted offended.  
  
“Watch what you say! I’m still better in the game than you!”  


 

When Chan finally left, it was already late evening and started getting dark outside.  
Jason’s parents were invited for dinner by friends and because of that they also left short after the boy.  
  
Jason sighed bored.  
  
“What are we gonna do now?” He asked and dropped onto the sofa.  
  
Sehyoon shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“Don’t know. We can watch a movie or something. I think there must be some ice cream left in the fridge too.”  
  
Suddenly Jason’s eyes started to sort of…sparkle.  
  
“Or...have you heard about the meteorites shower? In the news, they said it’s possible to see hundreds of shooting stars today!”  
  
And like this, they soon found themselves sitting outside on the balcony, wrapped in blankets and eating ice cream, the mild spring wind playing with their hair.  
  
After some time of quietly watching the night sky, Jason suddenly spoke up.  
  
“Sehyoon…how do you know that you are in love?”  
  
Sehyoon nearly choked on his ice cream.  
  
“I don’t…really know. I’ve…never really been…in love, I think.” He managed to get out while coughing.  
  
“Why do you wanna know? Is there someone you like? Maybe someone called Chloe?”  
  
He earnt a slap on the arm and an annoyed glance by Jason.  
  
“I already told you, I didn’t stare at her!” he shouted and crossed his arms.  
  
“Sure. Then because of whom are you asking? And why did you keep looking in her direction?” Sehyoon wanted to know, while rubbing his arm.  
  
Jason immediately turned pink.  
  
“Nobody.” Was his answer but it sounded way too rushed, to be the truth.  
The older looked at him in disbelieve.  
  
“Kim Jason Byeongkwan…did you just lie to me?!” His voice was full of shock.  
  
Jason became even smaller than he already was and seemed to feel really uncomfortable.  
Instantly Sehyoon’s feelings changed from offended to worried.  
   
“Hey Jason, what is it?”  
  
He carefully reached for his hand.  
  
“I…I have something I wanted to tell you for a while now but…I just never really knew how…,” he started and Seyhoon squeezed his hand to encourage him to continue.  
  
“It’s just…I’m scared of your reaction…I mean…you’ll probably take it in a good way but I’m still asking myself _‘What if not?_ ’”  
  
He nervously started to play with the blanket.  
  
“Well I don’t know how I’m gonna react, because I have no idea what you want to tell me but I promise, I’ll try my best to understand you, whatever it is.”  
  
Jason nodded and took a deep breath before he finally said the words he had kept locked inside himself for so long:  
  
“I think…I’m gay.”  
  
  
For a moment Sehyoon just sat there, without saying or thinking anything.  
Then, ridiculously as it was, the first thought that popped into his head was,  
_‘So he really didn’t stare at Chloe the whole time.’_ , before he focused back on Jason’s face full of expectations.  
  
“Oh,” was the only thing he got out and he wanted to slap himself for it.  
  
“That’s all?” Jason said with a frown.  
  
“Noo!”  
  
Sehyoon shook his head wildly and waved his hands negatively in the air.  
  
“I just…I don’t know what to say…”  
  
“Because you wouldn’t have thought I was gay? Or maybe because you think it’s wrong?”  
  
Jason looked disappointed and the hand moves of the older got desperate by now.

“NO!”  
  
It came out louder than he had wanted it to and the other boy flinched.  
Well this wasn’t going how it should be at all…  
  
“That’s not it, really! I’m just…I thought it would be something bad…,” he tried to explain, “like you having a disease or…wanting me to leave you alone…”  
Jason’s eyes grew extremely wide.  
  
“I would never want you to leave!” He assured him, looking really upset, before he asked,  
  
“So you don’t think, me being gay is bad?”  
  
Again, Sehyoon shook his head and reached for the younger’s hand once more.  
  
“Why would I? I’m maybe not gonna get grandchildren now…wheelps there goes my hope…,” he said and Jason chuckled softly.  
The older watched him with a warm smile.  
  
“As long as you are happy, I’m happy. So, don’t worry, I’m not gonna leave you because of something like this.”  
  
He made a short pause before he continued, “Loving someone is beautiful, no matter what that person’s gender is…or skin color or I don’t know. So, don’t feel like you are doing something wrong, okay.”  
  
Tears started falling from Jason’s eyes and Seyhoon looked at him in alarm.  
  
“Have I said something wrong?! I’m sorry, okay.”  
  
He started wiping away the younger’s tears panic-stricken.  
  
“No, you haven’t,” he said and pulled him into a hug.  
  
“You said exactly the right things.”  
  
They stayed like this for a while, until Jason had stopped crying. Then Sehyoon could no longer keep his curiosity in check.  
  
“So, if it isn’t Chloe…who is the lucky guy, you were stalking the whole time?”  
  
“The one sitting next to her.”  
  
“Seungjun?”  
  
He nodded and the pink color returned to Jason’s face.  
  
Well at least Seyhoon could understand where that was coming from.  
Seungjun was best described as really handsome. With a nice, pretty smile and big brown eyes.  
Not only Jason but nearly every girl in their grade and younger had a crush on him.  
This could eventually turn out to be really difficult.  
  
“So, what are we gonna do?” He looked questioningly at the younger who had a confused expression on his face.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Well I thought you like him…Therefore we now need a plan to get you a date with him.”  
  
“I’m not sure if that’s what I want…,” the other objected.  
  
“Oh come on…Do you want to only keep staring at him?”  
  
Jason shook his head slowly.  
  
“See…”  
  
“But have you seen him? He probably isn’t even gay.”  
  
Sehyoon shrugged.  
  
“You are right. Maybe he is bi. But you can’t know that because of his looks. You have to ask.”  
  
Jason’s laugh was without humor.  
  
“Sure…I’m just gonna call him and ask him if he is gay or bi or anything and if he wants to go on a date with someone as ordinary and boring looking as me. He’ll totally be in for it.”  
  
“Maybe…but you should ask one thing after the other…slowly and--“  
Seyhoon was interrupted by Jason’s frustrated outcry.  
  
“This is not helping me at all…how is this supposed to work?!”  
  
He needed a moment to calm down before he started apologizing,  
  
“Sorry…I’m just really desperate. I don’t want him to think I’m weird but he definitely will. God, I’m so weird.”  
  
Jason buried his head in his hands.  
  
“Stop putting yourself down.” Reprimanded Seyhoon him.  
  
Then he started to think.  
  
“You need to get to know him a little before you ask him out on a date. You should use every chance you get to get to know him better…like in group work for example…or PE. After that you can make up a reason to text or even visit him. If you have managed that, the rest should be a piece of cake for you.”  
  
“Oh really?” Jason did not look convinced.  
  
“Yup. You are smart, funny and charming. How could he not fall for you?” Seyhoon responded with a smile.  
  
Thereupon, Jason raised his head and their eyes met.  
Suddenly everything around them just seemed to stop. There were no longer any sounds or movements. Even the time seemed to stand still.  
It was only Jason and his eyes in which Seyhoon had the feeling to drown in.  
In this moment he wanted nothing more than to lean nearer to Jason, so he could be even closer to him than he already was.  
But before he could do something like that, the younger blinked and shook his head as if he wanted to wake up from a trance.  
The frozen bubble, they seemingly had been in, shattered.  
  
Jason cleared his throat.  
  
“Thank you…I’m gonna try your advice next week…,” he explained a little awkward before he got up.  
  
“Huhh…I’m getting tired so I’m gonna go wash up first, okay?”  
   
Then he turned around and walked inside.  
  
The shooting stars were long forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also some common German history class facts for you…jay :”D
> 
> Like I promised, this was a longer chapter again, I hoped you liked it :)  
> The story starts to get more exiting now ;)
> 
> (And could this site pls stop deleting parts of my notes? :( I have to rewrite them every time...:/)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, the length of my chapters is quite random, I hope you don't mind :"D
> 
> And just know that I love Seungjun, so pls don't be angry with him, standing between Wowson.
> 
> Like always, thank you so much for your support <3 and I'm also really thankful for grammar lessons or similar, bc like I already told you, I'm not a native and my English classes are shit... (so I'm teaching myself...)
> 
> Have fun reading! <3 :D

Luck was on Jason’s side.  
   
Not even a week after their talk, his beloved history teacher decided to let his class present different important historical events as an oral presentation in groups of two, as preparation for their final exams.  
  
Everyone had already held on tightly to their best friends when he added,  
  
“And you are not allowed to work with your friends or the person sitting next to you. You all gonna have to work with people someday and that will probably be people, you don’t know that well. So better get prepared early.”  
  
The whole class started groaning and whining disapprovingly.  
  
Also, Chan joined in,  
“Why? That’s totally unnecessary!”  
  
But meanwhile, Jason had already begun to glance over to Seungjun.  
He seemed similar unbothered with the whole situation as him and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, while he waited for the class to calm down.  
Suddenly Seyhoon appeared next to Jason and followed his gaze.  
  
“This is your chance. Get him!” He said, his voice sounding excited.  
  
Jason had no time to object the idea, because in this moment, his teacher silenced the class.  
  
“Now choose a partner and a topic. We will start the presentations next week in chronological order. It shouldn’t be longer than 15 minutes, remember that.”  
  
He had barely finished his sentence, when the classroom turned into a battlefield.  
Everybody tried to get to his desired partner as fast as possible and it was pure chaos.  
Jason too, nearly jumped over the tables, which separated him from his crush, to be the first one there.  
But when he reached him, two girls were already standing in front of him, one trying to make bigger puppy eyes than the other and playing seductively with strands of their hair.  
Jason slowed down a little and approached the trio, looking as casual as possible.

“Please do it with me. You’ve promised, last time!” Girl number one said.  
  
“No! He promised me first.” Replied the other one.  
  
Seungjun seemed to be more than annoyed and uncomfortable. He nervously looked around as if he was searching for help.  
_‘This is your chance!’_ Reminded Jason himself and placed himself next to the two girls.  
  
“Sorry Ladies, but I’ve helped him with a math exam once, so we kind of have an unpaid dept between us which I really would love to get paid for before the end of school.”  
  
Seungjun looked up at him in confusion, until he realized that he was supposed to play along.  
  
“Yes…he’s right. Sorry, next time, okay?” He said while smiling apologizing at the girls. They pouted and walked away, sulky.  
   
Seungjun sighed before he smiled at Jason.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
“No problem, you looked kind of uncomfortable.”  
  
“Really? Was it that obvious?”  
His crush chuckled and ran a hand through his dark hair.  
  
“Yes. You literally screamed for help.”  
  
“Ahh…well how can I thank you for saving me then?” he asked.  
  
Jason felt his heart to start pounding even faster than it already did.  
  
“If you wouldn’t mind…I need a partner for my oral history presentation...”  
  
“That’s funny. Me too.”  
  
They both smiled at each other and started discussing which topic they should choose.  
  
On the other side of the room, Sehyoon watched them quietly.  
He was happy for Jason…of course he was.  
But since their talk some days ago, he also always felt an ache in his chest when he thought about the younger being together and spending time with Seungjun and not him, and he hated himself for it.

* * *

 

  
Later, after class, Jason had not only gotten Seungjun’s number but also a time when the other wanted to come over, so they could work on their presentation.  
  
Jason’s parents looked positively surprised when they saw another boy than Chan, sitting next to their son, both laughing over something Seungjun had just said.  
Of course, like always, they couldn’t see Sehyoon who was also sitting with them but without laughing.  
Jason was too focused on his crush to notice anyways and the older started to think that his advice maybe had been a bad idea.  
It was selfish and childish but for some reason Sehyoon could not stand Seungjun.  
  
“Jason, who is this young man you are sitting with?” His mother asked and smiled at them warmly.  
  
Seungjun immediately jumped up and made a little bow.  
  
“Nice to meet you. My name is Seungjun, I’m a classmate of Jason and partner for a group work,” he introduced himself.  
  
Jason’s mother looked like she just fell in love.  
‘ _She probably thinks he is cute, like seemingly everyone’_ Sehyoon thought sourly.  
  
“It’s my pleasure. I’m Jason’s mother.”  
  
Seungjun returned her smile.  
  
“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” She then asked.  
  
“I don’t want to cause you any trouble…,” he politely turned down her offer.  
  
But Mrs. Kim only shook her head.  
  
“You don’t,” she replied and went in the kitchen to make cookies anyway.  
  
Jason had watched the whole scene, obviously really happy, and grinned at Seungjun who returned it brightly, before he looked at Seyhoon.  
The latter stared at his crush grimly and he frowned.  
When Sehyoon noticed Jason staring at him, he also forced himself to smile, but he knew it didn’t work on his friend.  
  
Later, after Seungjun had left, Jason turned to him with a questioning look.  
“Is everything all right?”  
  
Seyhoon froze for a second before he continued to clean up their empty plates and answered, sounding as casual as possible,  
  
 “Yeah…of course.”  
  
But the younger did not let it go that easily.  
  
“Really? Because earlier you looked kind of…angry…”  
  
Sehyoon let out a fake chuckle.  
  
“Why should I be? I was just bored…and you two needed to look up the easiest, most common facts…like seriously? Did you ever pay attention in class at all?”  
  
Jason rolled his eyes.  
  
“You wouldn’t have needed to sit with us. You could have gone upstairs to play some video games or read a book.”  
  
_‘And leave you alone with a handsome guy…hell no.’_ Sehyoon thought, followed by _‘Put yourself together! This is not the time for childish jealousy because your best friend found another friend…_ ’  
  
“That would have been even more boring,” he simply answered.  
  
“But if you are around us all the time, I feel like I have a governess or something like that...,” Jason suddenly whined.  
  
Everything in Sehyoon started to turn cold.  
  
“What do you want to do that your governess is not allowed to see it?” He wanted to know, his back turned to Jason, so he couldn’t see his reserved face.  
  
“N…nothing.” Stammered the younger.  
  
 “Only talking...about personal stuff…I think”  
  
Sehyoon snorted unamused.  
  
“What is there that I don’t know about you? Or is there anything, you don’t want me to know?”  
  
He could no longer hide the anger and hurt in his voice.  
 Jason became quiet.  
  
In his head, his thoughts seemed to go head over heels.  
Why did he react that way? It was only understandable that Jason wanted to be alone with the boy he liked…he should support him instead of being unreasonable grumpy.  
  
Suddenly he felt a hand on his upper arm.  
  
“What is it? Do you think Seungjun will take me away from you?”Jason asked softly.  
  
He shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t even know it himself.  
  
“Because that’s not gonna happen, okay.”  
  
Slowly the younger turned him around and Sehyoon caught a glimpse of his worried expression, before he got pulled into a tight hug. Instantly, he relaxed.  
While being hold by Jason, everything else seemed far away. All his problems sort of vanished and he could only think about the other.  
The feeling of his arms around him, the sound of his breathing and the smell of his shampoo in his hair.  
Sehyoon suddenly realized that Jason was his whole world and that it had always been that way. He couldn’t imagine what he was supposed to do, if the younger suddenly wouldn’t need him anymore, because he got someone else he could hug like this.  
  
He quickly broke away from Jason and the other stared at him in mild confusion.  
  
“I...huhh,” Sehyoon searched for an excuse, stammering, “I really need to go to the toilet…”  
  
He forced an embarrassed grin on his face and it had to look convincing, because Jason started to laugh and gave him a pat on the shoulder.  
  
“Then it’s probably better if I don’t stop you. I can clean up the rest by myself.”  
He nodded and fled to the bathroom where he sat down on the closed toilet and buried his head in his hands.  
He tried to calm himself by repeatedly breathing in and out.  
  
The thoughts in his head seemed to sit in a roller-coaster by now, driving looping after looping.  
But one of them still always stood out and he started to whisper a mantra to himself, to silence the thought.  
  
“Your realization is wrong. It must be wrong. It has to be wrong.”  
_  
_ At the same time Sehyoon clearly knew that it wasn’t wrong and saying it again and again wouldn’t change that.

He was in love with Jason and there was no way that this would end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sehyoon finally realized his feelings...now slowly prepare for the angst...
> 
> And hugs in every chapter! Yeees! 
> 
> God guys...I'm such a soft stand :"D


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I’m done with this ff, I’m already writing on more stuff (coughaspinoffcough) bc I have no life…or more like no hobbies …
> 
> No, actually I’m really busy with school and a lot of other stuff, but I love writing so much and it helps me relax :”) so here we go again… :D

After his little breakdown, Sehyoon acted like always.  
He knew he was in love with Jason, but showing it or telling him wouldn’t help him at all.  
So he just pretended, he wouldn’t feel like his heart was bursting with happiness, whenever Jason hugged him or he felt hurt every time he started to talk about his crush.  
  
In the meantime, the younger texted Seungjun nearly all the time and seemed to be happier than ever.  
Also Chan had noticed this quickly and started to tease him about his crush, whenever he could. At least after he had overcome the fact that Jason hadn’t told him earlier.  
Soon he became friends with Seungjun too and the three of them (plus Sehyoon but he didn’t count, because nobody except Jason could see him) started to hang out together, at and after school.  
  
At the same time, Sehyoon slowly became more and more quiet.  
He had never been the most talkative person, but in the past, he used to throw in a comment from time to time, while Jason was talking to Chan or they were playing video games. However now, he felt like there was not enough room left for him.  
So, he just sat there, without saying a word, and earned irritated glances from the younger, once in a while.  
Because Jason did notice something was wrong, but he didn’t ask and Sehyoon was happy about it, since he didn’t have any idea what he should answer anyway.     
  
Then a lot happened in a very short time period.  
  
Everything started with Jason going on a date with Seungjun.  
Well, Sehyoon called it date, the younger insisted that it wasn’t one, but how else do you call it, when two people who like each other, go out to drink milkshakes in a diner together?  
So, the older decided to be a good, supportive friend and that he would ignore the jealousy which raged inside him.  
Instead he picked out an outfit for Jason of which he knew, the younger would look extremely good in, and insisted on walking him to their meeting place.  
  
“That really would not have been necessarily…,” uttered Jason, while he looked down on his unusually well-matched clothes.

Sehyoon let out a snort.

“As your best friend, it’s my responsibility to not let you go on your first date, looking like you just fell out of bed.” He explained and Jason pouted.

“Did you just insult my everyday appearance? Whatever, I already told you, it’s not a date.”  
   
They had reached their destination and Jason stopped in front of Sehyoon, looking at him annoyed.  
But the older ignored his stare and eyed him up and down, before he frowned horrified.

“What happened to your hair? It was such an effort to style it…”

“But I looked ridicules! Even If I would go on a date right now, I wouldn’t have had any chance with that hairstyle.”

“I’m not even gonna be offended about what you just said, because I know that you don’t know anything about styling your hair... Anyway, it looked good on you…but now you look like you’ve got a bird nest on you head!”

Sehyoon reached out his hand, to try to somehow save his hair.  
In the end, it at least didn’t stick out in every direction anymore and he stroke the last strands out of Jason’s forehead, satisfied with his work.  
Then he saw the younger staring at him and something in his eyes let him froze, his hand still on his temple.  
  
He stared back and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to lean closer and kiss Jason.  
And he didn’t know why, but he had the feeling that in this moment, the other maybe would even have kissed him back. He was about to simply throw his common sense overboard and find out for himself, when the sudden ringing of Jason’s phone destroyed the moment.  
  
They both jumped startled and the younger fished his phone out of his pocket.

“Yeah? Ah, Seungjun…you’re here?” He looked around searchingly.

“No, I didn’t go in yet. I’m standing outside, right next to a bush so maybe that’s why you can’t see me.”

He laughed, probably about something, the other must have said.

“Of course,…you know me. Ahh, I can see you!”

Jason started to jump up and down while waving wildly.  
Sehyoon followed his stare and saw Seungjun quickly approaching, smiling brightly as always.  
When he had reached them, Jason hung up and they hugged each other as a greeting.

“Hey! Did you wait long?”

Jason responded by shaking his head.  
“Good, I was worried. My mother decided to talk to me about her weekend plans, just when I was about to leave. Let’s go inside, you must be freezing!”

Seungjun reached for the other’s hand and dragged him along to the diner.  
Before they went in, the younger looked back at Sehyoon one last time, but he was too far away, for the older to be able read his expression.  

* * *

  
  
Sehyoon didn’t go home after this, right away.

He roamed through the little town they lived in, looking for a distraction.

Shortly after he had met Jason for the first time, he had tried his best to find out where he was, but he quickly realized that something in his head made it impossible for him to process any information about the time and exact place of his stay.  
He didn’t know the reason for this occurrence, but it had made him even surer in the idea that he was dreaming.  
At least in the beginning. With time he started to doubt, he would ever wake up again and at some point, he just did not think about it anymore at all.  
He was happy with his life with Jason and even if he was a ghost, this information would no longer have been important to him. What should he do, if he found out that it was the same time he had lived in? Nobody except Jason was capable of seeing him anyway.  
The only thing he knew, was that he had to be somewhere in the States…but North-America was big.  
  
Hours passed, in which Sehyoon walked through the same looking streets with tonwhouses next to townhouses, before decided to finally make his way home.  
When he arrived there, he went up to their room and tried to distract himself further by reading, but he couldn’t focus and the book landed on the floor, next to the bed.  
Since they had been little, they had shared it and laying on it alone, made it feel too big.  
  
Then he suddenly heard the door being unlocked and the sound of Jason’s footsteps which were so familiar to him, he could recognize them everywhere immediately.

“I’m back!” Jason called and his footsteps came closer.

Sehyoon sat up and felt his heartbeat fasten.

“Calm down. There is nothing to be excited about, he just had a date with another guy.” He reminded himself, when Jason entered.

“Did you just say something?” He asked, frowning.

Seyhoon shook his head.

“No.”

Jason shrugged his shoulders and let himself fall next to the older on the bed.

“Ahh...I’m tired.” He groaned, before he suddenly sat up again and looked at Sehyoon in excitement.

“Before I forget, he’s bi!”

The older only blinked confused.

“What? Who is bi?”

“Seungjun! You told me I shouldn’t just assume his sexuality by his looks, without knowing him. So now, that I know him, I talked to him about it and asked him and he told me, he is bi.”

Jason smiled at Sehyoon happily.

“You were right! I mean, you always are, I shouldn't have doubted you.”

Sehyoon forced a smile on his own face, but his heart became heavy. Then there really seemed to be no hope left, if there ever had been any in the first place. He was invisible after all.  
  
He turned to Jason, to congratulate him and be a proper best friend, instead of a jealous idiot, but in the meantime, the younger had already fallen sound asleep beside him, his normal clothes still on.  
While sleeping, he always reminded Sehyoon of the ten-year-old child, he had met so long ago.  
The older sighed and stroke the hair out of Jason’s face who softly smiled and pouted in his sleep.

  
Deep inside him, Sehyoon had probably always known that it would turn out this way. He just didn’t know what the end of it all would look like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's comming guys, it's comming...  
> We are getting there, really.
> 
> A lot will be happening in the last chapters...
> 
> So better be ready for next week and the angst.  
> (I know I said that some times already, but I kind of forgot about this chapter...lol)
> 
> Like always, thanks for all your support <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's going down down baby~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter starts the angst, but I think it's quite mild.  
> Btw, it's my first time writing angst, so don't kill me...it could have been better :")
> 
> Now, have a lot of fun (you crazy people that waited for the angst tsts xD)  
> Thanks for your support <3 I would have never expected to get over 500 views, wtf O.o

The next day, too, everything was like always.  
Chan happily talked about nothing and everything, while Jason laughed about all his jokes, Seungjun got stared at by all the girls around him and Sehyoon followed the trio silently.  
Although the date seemed to have went well yesterday, neither of the both did anything particular couple like, even though Sehyoon could swear, their touches were unreasonable long.  
  
After school they all left the building together and Chan was already talking about what the three of  them could cook for late lunch, when Jason suddenly spoke up,

“I’m sorry guys but I can’t hang out with you today.”

The other two looked at him in disappointment.

“What? Why?” Chan instantly wanted to know.

“My mother thinks that we are not spending enough time together, that’s why she planned a family dinner and I have to help her in the kitchen.”

Sehyoon looked at him bewildered. It was the first time, he heard something about a family dinner this evening.

“Oh, too bad…at least you get good food.” Chan said and Seungjun nodded in agreement.

“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jason waved his goodbyes and walked in the direction of his home, followed by Sehyoon.

When they arrived, he searched for Jason’s mother but couldn’t see her anywhere.  
Meanwhile the other was already on his way upstairs, to his room.

“Are you coming?” He looked at the older questioningly.

Sehyoon frowned and returned the stare in confusion.

“Aren’t you supposed to help your mother?” He asked whereupon Jason started grinning at him in amusement.  
  
“Oh Sehyoon...there is no family dinner, you know my parents are working late today. That was just an excuse.”

“For what? Don’t you want to spend time with your friends?” He was totally lost by now.

“Of course, I want to. But if I’m spending time with them, I can’t spend time with you. And you are also my friend. No, you are my bff! Best friend forever.” He started to laugh but when he saw that Sehyoon didn’t join in, he immediately stopped again and sighed.

“Lately something between us is different. At first, I told myself I’m overreacting but…I don’t know. You seem kind of distant and sad these past couple days and I thought maybe it’s because I’m spending not as much time with you as before…as I should…,” he paused, “But I’m sorry and I want to make it right again. From now on I’m going to spend more time with you again, promise!”  
  
Seyhoon looked at him fondly. How could he have ever thought, he would not fall for this beautiful boy?  
  
“Do you accept my apology?” Jason wanted to know anxiously.

“Of course.” He responded and returned the bright smile which appeared on the younger’s face.

“Thank God! And now, come on! I practiced, so I’m gonna kick your ass now!”

The older let out an amused snort.

“Sure…I have like over ten years more practice than you, don’t forget that!” He responded and followed him into their room.  
  
While spending the afternoon and evening alone with Jason, everything finally felt like it used to, again. They played video games for hours, before their hunger forced them to stop, to go down into the kitchen and cook something. In the past Sehyoon had done that mostly by himself, while the younger had watched him with big, round eyes, but now he was old enough to help him and they had a lot of fun.  After eating and cleaning everything up again, Jason settled on the couch.

“Let’s watch a movie.” He said and Sehyoon sat down next to him.  
  
They decided to watch an action movie, about which Jason had heard good things, but turned out to be really cheesy.  
  
“God…I live for the action scenes…,” Jason commented, not even 30 minutes into the movie, when the main characters started to smooch again and Sehyoon grumbled in agreement.

The younger snuggled himself closer to the older and he put an arm around him while they continued to watch. But with time, it became increasingly difficult for Sehyoon to focus on the movie.  
Whenever the characters kissed on screen (and they did it a lot) he felt the need to look at Jason’s lips. It took all his strength to not do it, but when one of the kisses started to get especially heated, he couldn’t resist anymore. However, what he had not expected, was Jason to already be staring at him.  
Once their eyes had locked, Sehyoon was unable to look away again.  
His heartbeat fastened and his breath begun to come out unsteadily. Meanwhile his brain seemed to have switched on autopilot. Maybe if it wouldn’t have, he would have realized that this was dangerous territory, but instead, seemingly without being able to do anything against it, he leaned closer, until only a few centimeters were left between them. Now he had a way better view on Jason’s lips and he openly stared at them.  
  
“What…are you doing?” Whispered the younger.

He could feel his quickened, irregular breath on his face.

“I don’t know…,” responded the older quietly, before he closed the gap between them.  
  
The feeling of Jason’s lips on his own was incredible.  
He seemed to have waited for this moment his whole life and they were even softer than he could have ever imagined. Sehyoon slowly started to move his lips and kiss Jason properly, waiting for and paying attention to any sign which could mean the other felt uncomfortable.  
But after the first moments of shock, Jason begun to kiss him back.  
Sehyoon couldn’t believe his luck. His heart seemed to burst out of happiness and he felt like a thousand butterflies were rumbling in his stomach.  
He slowly moved his hands to Jason’s face, so he could touch him and confirm for himself that this was indeed happening, when a switch seemed to flip over in the younger’s head.  
He froze and then suddenly pushed Sehyoon away from him, who looked at him dumfounded.  
  
“What the hell was that?!” Jason asked horrified.

Sehyoon’s head seemed to be empty. There was no other excuse for what he had just done than the truth, but he also knew, telling the truth could mean he would lose Jason forever.   

“I…,” he begun to stammer, feverish searching for the right words.

Meanwhile, Jason looked more and more upset and even tears shone in his eyes.  
The older wished, he could just turn back the time and prevent everything from happening. He didn’t know, what kind of reaction he had expected, but definitely not a horrified, crying Jason.  
  
“Did you do it for fun? To give it a try?” His voice was shaking and the younger slowly moved away, backwards, without taking his eyes of him.

“No! Of course not! You know I would never do something like this for fun.” Sehyoon felt pain because of Jason’s rejection and anger that the younger seemed to seriously think he would do something like that. He felt cold and his hands started to shake.

“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t have done it, if I had known, you would react that way.” He tried to apologize and calm the younger down, but it worked in the other way around.

“Then what’s the reason?!” Jason wanted to know, screaming. “Why have you done it?!”  
  
“Because I love you!” Sehyoon screamed back and the other boy stared at him, speechless and completely frozen.  
   
But the older couldn’t stop himself anymore, now that he had finally started to say all the things he had wanted to say aloud for such a long time.

“I did it because I love you. And I don’t know how long I already do that, I only realized it myself some weeks ago, but probably for a long time. I know, we are friends and I shouldn’t, but I can’t do anything against it! Every day, I see you, and you look beautiful and every time you smile I feel like I’m falling in love with you all over again. I’ve never felt that way before in my whole life and I can’t believe that this all is supposed to be only a dream, because how could I imagine someone as wonderful as you, if I’ve never met somebody like you before? I never wanted to protect someone as much as you and believe me when I say that your happiness is so much more important to me than my own…but I just couldn’t hold back anymore…and for that, I’m sorry.”  
  
After he had finished, he looked at Jason, waiting for any sort of reaction. After all, he had just poured his heart out to him. Now it was on Jason to decide, if he would step on it or not.  
  
The latter still stared at Sehyoon without moving, but the tears had started to fall, somewhere in his speech. When he remained silent, the older could not stand it any longer. He tried to get up, to walk closer, but Jason responded by backing away.  
He felt an ache in his heart and groaned in frustration.

“Please, just say something.” He begged desperately.  


Jason chuckled but without any amusement in it.

“What do you wanna hear? What did you expect?! That I’m gonna be happy and tell you I love you too?  Oh please…Even if I would, you are not real! All of this, this entire situation, you…,” after the last word he stopped, as if it had cost all his strength to even form it,  
“this is all just part of my imagination. And I have no idea what my subconscious wants to tell me with this, but I’m so sick of it! I don’t want to feel like I’m going insane, every day and have to ask myself what is real and what only exists in my head, all the time. How am I supposed to ever live a normal life like everybody else does, if I’m seeing a person the whole time that isn’t even real!”  
   
Meanwhile scattered tears had turned into torrents which ran down Jason’s face and Sehyoon wanted nothing more than to reach for the other, wipe away his tears and to hold him and tell him how sorry he was and that everything would be all right again, like he had done it so often when they had been younger. But he couldn’t. He could do nothing except starring at the younger, motionless, while he felt how tears begun to gather in his own eyes.  
  
“You love me…?” Jason continued, “…then leave me alone.”

His voice started to become louder and louder.

“If you really love me, leave me alone so I can finally live my own life without being looked at by my parents as if I’m fucking crazy!”

After that, Jason turned around and ran out and upstairs, to lock himself in his room.  
  
Sehyoon was still sitting on the couch without moving and stared after him.  
He felt, like he had after his accident, when he sunk into the dark, numb nothingness without feeling anything at all.  
After some minutes, his own tears finally started to fall and for the first time, he was glad that nobody except Jason could see or hear him, while he cried, like all light had disappeared from the world.  
And for him it was like that.  
His only real light for the past ten years, Jason, had just told him the words he had always waited for but also was afraid of more than anything else.  
  
Jason had told him to go, so he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry guys, I’m really bad at describing kisses okay :”D  
> And I’m also sorry for destroying wowson. Just believe me when I tell you that it hurts me as much as you all ☹  
> (And I mean...you asked for the angst lol)
> 
> Btw, the story is nearly done ☹


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized while writing this chapter that I seemingly really suck at writing angst…jay :")
> 
> Btw...I'm sorry okay...

The next morning Jason was awakened by the stressed sounding voice of his mother,

“Jason! You really need to get up now or you’ll be late.”

Confused he opened his eyes and looked in her concerned face.

“Did your alarm broke? Normally you never oversleep…God Jason, are you sick?” She suddenly asked even more worried.

“Your eyes are really red and you look tired. Do you want to stay at home? Should I call your school?”

She put a hand on his forehead, to check his temperature.

“At least you got no fever…”

“I’m okay.” He said, but it came out as a croak and his mother was already on her way to call his school.

“You’ll stay at home today and rest until you look better.” Were her last words before she closed the door to his room, leaving him alone in the dark.

Even though it was true that he was tried, he couldn’t sleep.  
His mother was right. He did feel extremely horrible, but not because he was sick.

“Sehyoon?” He whispered into the darkness.

No answer.

“Are you there?” He tried again, even though he already knew deep within that he wouldn’t get an answer.

While he was lying in his bed, he thought about the events of last night and started to feel extremely guilty.  Regardless of whether Sehyoon was real or not, he had acted like a complete asshole.  
But Jason had simply not been able to stay calm, when everything inside of him had screamed that this couldn’t be real and he was going insane. All his life, he had just tried to not think about the fact that nobody except him could see the one person who meant more to him than anyone else. However, how could he ignore the matter any longer when this best friend, who was seemingly not real, kissed him and confessed his love to him.  
Had the kiss felt real? Definitely.  
Did Sehyoon’s confession make him happy in the first moment? Probably.  
Had he enjoyed the kiss in the beginning? Maybe…  
Jason groaned in frustration. By now, the sun had risen and his parents were probably already at work. He got up and walked out of his room and downstairs into the living room with the hope, to find Sehyoon and maybe apologize to him for his bad behavior. Maybe he would understand his situation and forgive him and they could talk about it.

“Sehyoon? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper. It was just a lot to take in and…,” he had stopped in the middle of the room. It was empty, without any sign of Sehyoon or their fight from last night. Jason felt panic rising in him and he ran into the kitchen.  
But it was empty, too.

“No…he can’t be…”

Tears gathered in his eyes and he became more and more desperate, while he begun to search through the whole house, but without success.  
Sehyoon was gone.  
  
He went back into his bedroom and feverishly searched for his best friend’s clothes in his closet, but again it seemed like they had never been there in the first place. But he couldn’t just give up. He needed to find something, anything, so he could convince himself that there was still hope. That his best friend had really been real and wasn’t gone forever, with it being Jason’s fault. He sunk down on the floor, too weak to be able to stand upright any longer. For the first time since elementary school, before he had met Sehyoon, he felt lonely and he suddenly realized that he hadn’t spent time alone, without the older, for years until now. In the past, he sometimes had wished his friend wouldn’t always be around him and when Sehyoon had noticed, he went downstairs to watch a movie or left the house for some hours, to give Jason the space he needed, but he always came back. Now, everything seemed like he wouldn’t ever again and Jason’s room felt too big all of a sudden. He raised his head and his eyes fell on the box with Lego, under his bed, which he hadn’t played with in years. Immediately memories of Sehyoon and him reenacting the Star Wars movies came into his mind and he crawled towards the box as fast as possible. He pulled it out from under his bed and took out the Lego figure of Luke Skywalker, which had always been Sehyoon’s favorite. Slowly he started to caress it, like it was his biggest treasure. Then his tears started to fall.  
  
“I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. Everything is my fault. But please come back…come back” He repeated these words over and over again, until they turned into loud sobs.  
   
Later, his mother found Jason just like that, still sitting on the carpet in his room, crying and surrounded by his old Lego.

“Oh sweetie, what happened?” She asked, her voice full of concern. “Why aren’t you in your bed?”

She knelt beside him and hugged him, in the hope to calm him down a little, but without much success.

“He…is…gone!” Jason got out while helplessly sobbing.

“Gone?” His mother wanted to know confused, “Who is gone?”

But she didn’t get an answer.  
  
Somehow his mother brought him back into his bed, but Jason didn’t stop crying, until he was too tired to stay awake any longer and finally fell asleep.  

* * *

 

The next day he went to school, although against the will of his mother. But he knew that the best thing he could do right now, was to distract himself.  And what was more perfect for this than the upcoming exams? So, he plunged into the work, started to spend all his free time learning and tried to act like everything was normal and all right. He should have expected, however, that his friends did not buy his play of being completely fine and therefor, one afternoon, when he refused their offer to go and watch a movie together again, they confronted him,  
  
“What the hell happened to you?” Chan wanted to know, more than a little annoyed and worried by now.  
Jason shrugged his shoulders.

“What should have happened? Everything is like always.” He tried to talk himself out of this, although he knew there was no escape now. Not when Chan had put on that look.

“Like always? Have you seen yourself? For two weeks now, you act like a complete different person. You barely smile at my jokes but laugh at the bad ones of Seungjun…”

“Hey…what do you mean my bad ones?” Asked the other and pouted offended but Chan ignored him.

“You are studying the whole time. You always search for excuses, to not have to spend time with us, and when you hang out with us for once, you space out and stare into the distance like you are my 70 years old grandpa who lives more in his memories than the real word. So, don’t come at me with your ‘everything is fine and I’m happy’ bullshit, because we both know that you are not!”

After he had finished, they just stared at each other for what felt like hours, until Jason felt how tears begun to run down his face.  
Chan’s eyes instantly widened with concern.  
  
“You are right.” Jason said quietly. “I’m not fine. There probably wasn’t a second in the last two weeks, when I was fine. But I didn’t tell you, because there is nothing you could do to help me, anyway...so the best thing you can do for me right now, is to just pretend everything is normal and maybe one day I’m really gonna be fine again…”

“How can you already know that there is nothing we can do to help you, without telling us what your problem is, in the first place?” Seungjun threw in and smiled at Jason sadly.

Chan nodded in agreement.

“You know you can trust us…Just let us help you…please.”

They looked at him with pleading eyes.  
Meanwhile Jason had calmed down again and the tears had stopped falling.  
He looked at his two friends and sighed tiredly.

“If you want to know it that bad…but trust me, you won’t believe me anyways. After this you’ll think I’m insane, just like my parents do…”

Chan raised his eyebrows.

“We’ll see about that. Go on then, tell us, so we can help you.”

Jason had already lost one friend, two more wouldn’t change much, right?  
So, he started talking,

“When I was ten years old, I got bullied by a classmate. One day, again, he told me some pretty awful stuff and I just had enough…so I punched him.”

His friends looked at him aghast and he couldn’t help but laugh a little because of their expressions.

“I didn’t really cause any damage, I wasn’t a very strong ten-year-old.” He reassured them.

“But I had to go, see the headmaster and my mother had to pick me up. God, she was angry…and I was just so tired of feeling alone all the time. But that day, when I entered my room, a boy was standing in it. I had never seen him before, but he told me some weird stuff about dreaming and him actually being 26 years old and dead. At first, I didn’t believe him at all, but I thought he was funny and that’s why I invited him to play with me. He became my first real friend, but soon I had to realize… that I was the only one who could see him…” He dropped the bomb and waited for the reaction of his friends but they just kept staring at him, so he decided to just keep telling the story,

“My parents shared the opinion that it was just a phase, an imaginary friend which I had invented, to not feel lonely anymore, and would disappear as soon as I would find real friends and I kind of started to believe that too. But then I got into Highschool and met you…,” he smiled at Chan who just stared back at him without returning it

“You couldn’t see him but he was always there, whenever you guys hung out with me, you also spent time with him.”

His friends looked around, uneasily.

“Is he here, right now, too?” Chan wanted to now with wide eyes.  
Jason shook his head.

“No…He is gone.”

Seungjun frowned. “So, did he finally disappear…? Because you don’t feel lonely anymore?”

Again, he shook his head.

“He is gone because I told him to…and because I acted like a total asshole…”

His friends shared a glance and Jason sighed.

“I told you, you won’t believe me. Therefore, just let me go home.” He wanted to walk around them but Chan was faster and he stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“Wait…what exactly happened and what is the reason for you to be like this, if you wanted him gone?” He wanted to know.

Well, to do things only half wasn’t for Jason anyway, so he could just tell them the whole story when he was already at it,

“We watched a movie, he kissed me and confessed to me and I told him that if he really loved me, he should leave me alone…but now I realized how stupid I acted and that I can’t live without him, no matter if he is real or not. Well…I realized that too late…” He was clear, how insane he must sound to his friends right now.

“Why did you react that way, then?” Chan asked and Jason wanted to scream in frustration.

“Because I was scared! Did you even listen to me?! Don’t you also think, I sound like I’m completely crazy? How would you feel, if you would fall in love with a person, of which everybody tells you, he isn’t real? What would you do, if that person would suddenly kiss you and tell you, he loves you too? I thought, I had finally lost my mind completely…or do you believe anything of the things, I’ve just told you?” He ended his desperate explanation.

“You do sound crazy…but at the same time I’m asking myself why you should lie to us or invent stuff like that. I mean, we’re friends for some time by now and I don’t think you’ve every lied to me…”

Seungjun nodded in agreement.  
  
“It sounds completely insane, but at the same time, I’ve always kind of thought that there must be more in our world than we think.” He said.

“And it would also explain some stuff.” Added the other.

“So, you believe me?” Jason asked in unbelief.

They shared a quick glance.

“Well…I wouldn’t call it believing, but we will just assume, this all really happened to you and help you with your problem.” Chan answered and smiled placatory.

“Have you tried searching for him?” Seungjun suggested.

“No, but how am I supposed to find him if he’s maybe not even in this world anymore…”

The other rolled his eyes.

“But you haven’t tried yet.” He stated.

“Any idea where we could start?” Chan asked and looked at him enthusiastically.

“Wait, what do you mean ‘we’?”

“Obviously we will help you” Seungjun answered.

“But you won’t be able to see him…” Jason reminded them.

“Maybe, but he can see us, right? So that should be enough.”

Jason looked at them and for the first time in two weeks he felt something like happiness and hope rise in him again.  
He still had two other best friends that cared for him and he couldn’t describe how much that meant to him, in this moment.

“Did I ever tell you guys, how much I love you?” He asked, tears gathering in his eyes again, but this time because of the endearing behavior of his friends.

Chan grinned at him.

“No, but we know you do.” He said and walked past him towards the middle of the town.

Then he suddenly turned around again.

“By the way, what is his name? It would probably be better to know.”

“Sehyoon.” Jason answered and couldn’t suppress a smile, now that he finally had some hope again.  
  
And like this, their search started.

 

 

“Jason, wait a moment, please.”

Impatiently, Jason turned around and saw that his friends had stopped some meters behind him.

“I can’t walk anymore; my feet are killing me.” Chan complained and pointed at his foot.

“I thought you wanted to help me…” Jason responded.

His friend tried to take another step and grimaced in pain while Seungjun looked at him worriedly.

“Of course, we want to help you. But we’ve searched through the whole town for hours now. It’s already getting dark, so why don’t we continue our search tomorrow?” He suggested.

Jason wanted to tell them, he couldn’t just give up, because the night hours, when he was alone at home, were the worst and hardest for him, but when he saw how tired his friends looked, he agreed dejected and followed them back into their neighborhood.  
  
  
When he came home, later, he was greeted by an empty house, like so often.  His parents had to work late and he was alone. At first, he told himself he could do it and fight the silence by distracting himself with school work, but after only one hour, he couldn’t stand the quietness anymore. Jason tried to fill it with music and the sound of the TV but unsuccessfully. In the end he sat in front of the sofa, on the floor, hugging his knees, while dangerous creatures seemed to lurk in every dark shadow around him. He missed Sehyoon so much. He had always protected him from the monster under his bed and everything cruel in the world. Living without him seemed impossible now that he had tried it. It was like the disappearance of the older had left a hole in his chest and nothing could fill it. Instead it ached and the pain was indescribable.

“Where are you?” Jason whispered into the silent darkness. “Have I really lost you forever?”

Like so often in these past days, he felt the urge to cry, but he tried to keep it in. He was so sick of crying all the time.  
  
“Be strong. Be strong. Be…strong.” He repeated again and again like a mantra, but it didn’t help.  
Searching for anything to distract himself, he looked around the room until his eyes fell on the cupboard in which his parents kept their alcohol in.

Jason knew it was a dumb idea and definitely the wrong way, but he had come to a point at which he really didn’t care anymore. He just wanted to feel fine again and even, if it was only because of the consume of alcohol and for some minutes.  So, he got up and took a wine bottle out of the cupboard, before he opened it and took a sip. He had drunken alcohol before in his life, but never more than one glass and therefore he had never been drunk. Jason quickly realized that he apparently did not tolerate much. He hadn’t even drunk a quarter of the bottle when he already felt everything spinning around him and becoming blurred. But even though he was drunk he didn’t feel better, like he had seen it in movies, at all. Instead it got worse.  His panic of the darkness and loneliness seemed to crush him and became unbearable. The hole in his chest got even bigger and he felt like he was drowning in all the guilt and self-hatred that had followed him everywhere he went, since he had rejected Sehyoon.  He needed to find him, whatever it would cost him.  
  
With new determination, Jason got up, staggering, and went over to the front door, a little unsteady on his legs.  
Then he opened it with a jerk and stepped outside into the mild evening air.  
He carefully walked some steps, but suddenly his legs gave up under him and he landed on his butt in the grass.  
Damned, he really shouldn’t have drunken that much. But that wouldn’t stop him.

“Sehyoon!” He started calling for the older and hoped he would somehow appear.

Of course, he didn’t, but the alcohol didn’t want to let Jason give up that easily.  
Therefor he tried again, tears streaming down his face once more.

“Sehyoon! Come back! I’m sorry, okay. Please just come back.”

Jason begun to helplessly sob, when suddenly feet appeared in front of him.  
Great, now his parents had found him like this too. They would definitely lecture him, but he didn’t care.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Asked a voice which was more familiar to Jason than anything else.

He immediately looked up and was met with the worried and also a little angry face of Sehyoon.  
Jason stared at him wide eyed, without believing, what he was supposedly seeing.  
He should probably never drink again in his life, if he even begun to hallucinate.  
  
“Is it really you or are you just an imagination…?” He wanted to know.  
  
The older chuckled humorless.

“Wasn’t I always only your imagination?” He responded with a counter question without hiding how hurt he seemed to be about this conception.

“I don’t know, but I also don’t care anymore. Maybe you are just an imagination, but I personally think you are ghost.” The younger answered, mumbling, because of the alcohol.

“Still something you don’t want to have in your life, right?”

Jason feverishly shook his head.

“No! I don’t care! I want you in my life and I don’t care if everybody thinks I’m crazy. It’s still better than having to live without you.”

He tried to find the right words to explain how horrible guilty he had felt and to apologize, but his brain felt extremely fuzzy. Still, he needed to try.

“I’m…so sorry, so so so sorry about everything I’ve said to you. I know there…is no justification for my words and I can’t take them back but…,” he took a deep breath before he continued talking, “I just want you to know, how sorry I am and that you are probably the most important person in my life, too. And maybe one day you can forgive me…and right know I feel really sick...”

With that, he vomited in front of Sehyoon’s shoes before everything around him turned black. 

* * *

  
  
The next time, Jason woke up, bright sunlight did already fall through the window into his room.  
He frowned and tried to slowly get himself into a sitting position. His mouth was dry and he felt a painful throb in his head, so he buried it in his hands, hoping to make the pain more bearable. Then he tried to remember last night. His brain was still not at its best, but his memories came back, bit by bit. At least partially. He had drunken too much, because he had been scared and had gone outside, because--  
  
“You shouldn’t have drunken so much. Especially because you are not of age yet.”

Jason froze and looked in the direction of the voice, which had interrupted his thoughts. There, in the door to his room, stood nobody else than Sehyoon, holding a glass with water and head painkillers in his hands. The older laughed at his surprised, stunned face.

“What…how…what are you doing here?” Jason asked, not believing his eyes.

“Can’t you remember last night at all? You’ve screamed my name through the whole street. People already started to want to know what was going on. So, I decided it would be the best to break my promise and keep you out of as much trouble as possible. When I came closer, I realized you were crying and when you saw me…you said some stuff.”

Sehyoon’s expression which had been amused before, became serious.

“Then you threw up all over my shoes and passed out, so I had to carry you inside and clean up your mess. Your parents, regardless, have still heard about it though and they know you drunk their wine…and they are quite angry, sorry. At least they’ve taken you out of school for today.” The older informed him and sat next to him on the bed, before he handed Jason the water and the painkillers.

The younger kept staring at him, without looking away for even a second, while carefully taking the medicine.

“Thank you,” he said and his voice sounded so sincere that Sehyoon wanted to pet him on his head.

“No problem. By the way, you don’t need to worry. As soon as you are better, I’m gonna be gone again…,” he said even though, he never wanted to leave the younger ever again, but it was Jason’s life and not his own and therefore not his decision to make.  
  
“NO!” Jason suddenly screamed and grabbed Sehyoon’s hand. Then he looked at him with wide, pleading eyes. “Please stay!”

The older returned his stare in confusion.

“But you said, you want me to leave, so you can finally live your life and—”

“What I’ve said were the dumbest things, I’ve ever said in my life!” Jason interrupted him,  
“and if I could take it all back, I definitely would. When I told you, I wanted you to leave, it actually meant, I was too scared of my own feelings to tell you to stay by my side…”

Sehyoon frowned.

“What exactly do you mean…? Because I think, I’m misinterpreting something, right now.”

Suddenly Jason leaned in closer.

“And what, if you are not...?” He whispered and Sehyoon’s heart begun to beat, like he was running a marathon.

“Well, I don’t think you’ll say I—"

“I love you.”

The older froze and stared at Jason in shock.

“What?” He asked dumbfounded.

The younger couldn’t stop himself from grinning. To finally say those words aloud just felt too good.

“I love you.” He repeated.

“But…I’m not real…I mean…”

“I don’t care…then I’m just crazy. Still, I can’t do anything against my feelings. I’ve tried and well…that was a disaster. So, I’ll just accept them.”

He smiled at Sehyoon and it was so warm and full of love, that the other had to return it, still not fully believing, this was actually happening.

“But what about Seungjun?” He wanted to know.

Jason looked at him confused, before he started to laugh.

“He was my crush, but now we are just friends. I told you the truth when I said it wasn’t a date. I think in my heart was already no space left for him, because of you…,” he explained smiling and caressed Sehyoon’s cheek.

“Is this some kind of dream?” The older asked and snorted, still in disbelief.

“I don’t know, but if it is one, we better make it a good one, right?” Answered the younger and smirked, before he closed the remaining distance between them.

The kiss, felt indescribably great. It was only their second one, but Sehyoon already decided that this was one of his favorite activities. Having Jason so close to him, feeling his quickened heartbeat under his hand and his soft lips on his own. He could do this for hours, if the other would let him. But they eventually had to breath and so they sat there, their breath coming out irregular, and just looked at each other with fond eyes, trying to not miss any detail.

“Can you…say these words again?” Seyhoon asked him after a while, still panting and smiling brightly.

“If you say them first.” Jason responded and grinned, while he started to play with the hair of the older.  
  
Sehyoon took a deep breath and finally said the words, he had wanted to tell Jason every second for the past weeks, once more,  
  
“I love you.”  
  
The younger’s smile got even bigger and he came closer, before he whispered his response,  
  
“I love you, too”  
  
Then Sehyoon woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Well...that just happened...  
>  I feel you all, okay <3
> 
> And A.C.E is seriously killing me at the moment...two new, incredible good songs *-*  
> Btw, I wrote this chapter, when the vlive came out, in which Jason talked about his drinking habit...they give me all the inspiration I need lol
> 
> Edit: If you want to make it even worse you can listen to this song [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IanZD91PoY). It's called All I know and is from the disney movie Chicken Little (Hi there Jae) and Idk why but it think it fits my wowson really well...I always have to think about them while listening to it (even tho I like the German version even better I think)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were always smiling back then, but I could see loneliness in you~  
> -5tar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is long and I would recommend you to read it somewhere comfortable and quiet...without many people around...  
> How am I supposed to believe that the story is nearly over omg TT
> 
> And btw I love onf a lot too...you should definitly check them out (and their on the run eps) They are so amiable, talented and extra (and underrated...)  
> I think Seungjun became my bias lol 
> 
> That's it, have fun <3  
> Most of the plot is about to start...

_**Jason’s point of view** _

 

Jason stepped outside of the airport and on Korean ground for the first time in nearly 20 years, Chan and Seungjun in tow. When he had first told them, he wanted to study in Seoul (and also search for his missing imaginary friend) they obviously didn’t want to let him go. Not, until he allowed them to accompany him. His two friends thought he had went insane and he couldn’t blame them. They probably also thought, he would soon go back to America, when he realized that his search was fruitless, but he wouldn’t. Not until he had found Sehyoon and made sure that he was safe.

Even though he had lived most of his live in America, speaking Korean wasn’t a problem. In his first years he had only spoken Korean with his parents and also Sehyoon, till he started to teach the older to speak better English. After that they started to randomly switch between the two languages. But now he was gone, for nearly a year already. At the beginning Jason had still thought the other would suddenly burst through the door at any moment but with time he realized that Sehyoon would indeed not come back. He didn’t know why or what happened, but in one moment he had kissed Sehyoon and felt like he couldn’t be happier and in the next, he had sat alone on his bed. The love of his life had simply disappeared, like smoke in a storm, without leaving any trace behind which could confirm, he had existed in the first place.  
  
Like the first time, when he had disappeared, Jason had still hoped he would show up again, until he started to question his own sanity. But then, one day, he had sat in front of the TV, randomly watching anything that was on, to distract himself from the empty and too silent house and was about to switch channels, because a really boring report about a company in Seoul came on, when he spotted the familiar face. He could see him for only a few seconds, but in that time, he was sure that it was indeed Sehyoon who stood behind the man on the screen. He looked exactly like when he had last seen him and for the first time in an eternity Jason felt like he was truly alive again. If the other really had been a ghost, the accident maybe hadn’t happened yet and Jason could warn him or his soul had just gone back into his body.

He had wanted nothing more than to just pack his bags and immediately fly to Korea, to search for him and find out, but a conversation with Chan quickly brought him back to reality.  
  
“You know, I’ll always trust and support you, but as your best friend, it’s also my duty to protect you from destroying your life. And it maybe seems as the best idea to you, to just travel there and search for…Sehyoon…but you can’t be 100 percent sure that it really was him. I know, you don’t want to hear it but don’t forget that he perhaps was only an imagination after all or a dead ghost…”  
  
Chan had been right that time, with everything he said. Jason didn’t want to hear that there was a possibility of Sehyoon not being real and that it also wasn’t a good idea to just fly to Seoul, head over heels, but it was still the truth. So, after he had calmed down again, he somehow obtained a promise from Chan, to help him create a good plan for finding the older.  
And now they were here…stepping into a new part of their lives and it seemed to be the first time, Jason was without Sehyoon’s support.

The three of them climbed into a waiting Taxi.

“Where do you want to go?” The driver asked.

“The Korea University Business School, please.” Jason answered and they already were on the way.

“ _New life, here I come_ ,” he thought.

 

* * *

 

University was different.  
Jason didn’t really know what he had expected but adjusting to live so far away from home and having to care for himself now, was way harder than he had always thought. He was extremely thankful and happy, his friends had been so stubborn to accompany him here, because without them everything would have been much worse.

Like this the first two months passed without him having enough time to really think about anything else than his new life and even finding Sehyoon became second priority.  
Still, whenever he could, he sat in a Café, not far from the building in which the older theoretically worked in, and hoped he would somehow see him there, but he didn’t.

Meanwhile, his friends spent their time like some characters in a teenager movie.  
Seungjun easily befriended the probably prettiest other freshman in the whole country, called Hyojin, while Chan already got a huge Crush on a senior with the name Jun. However, Jason was a little scared of the latter. He was extremely handsome but seemed to always look incredible serious. It gave him the look of a prince and he wasn’t sure if Chan would ever have a chance with someone like him. Still he tried to support his friend and spent a lot of time in the library or outside, stalking the senior, because Chan couldn’t get enough of him, but was too afraid to just talk to Jun. Instead he sometimes sent little presents, or even short letters. It was extremely cheesy and helpless and Jason wasn’t sure if he should worry about his friend or not, but he had enough other problems to care about. So, he let him do his thing and started to do his own too, which ended, in him regularly patrolling in front of Sehyoon’s working place.

Firstly, it seemed to be fruitless, until one month later, his wish became finally true.

He had just taken his normal place, for the next hours, in front of the company building, when suddenly a familiar, tall figure appeared on the other side of the street, accompanied by a small, middle aged woman. Despite her age, it was clear that she must have been really pretty in her youth and Jason knew immediately that it had to be Sehyoon’s mother.  
And the latter himself, well….in the moment he saw him, Jason felt his heart stop beating, just to continue at double speed. All the other people on the crowded street vanished and he had only eyes for him. He looked even more perfect in real life than in his memories. His dark hair was a mix between being styled and letting them fall naturally and his skin shimmered like gold in the sun.  
Jason fell in love all over again and his chest ached with longing, when he saw how Sehyoon smiled about something his mother had said.

Before he knew, what he was doing, he was on his feet, walking in their direction. It happened completely automatically, his brain seemed to be switched off. The only thing that led him, was his heart which had missed the other so much, it had hurt every day and wanted nothing more than to finally feel his touch again.

His mouth and voice, too, worked on their own.

“Sehyoon! Sehyoon!” He screamed and everybody around him turned, to see what was going on.

But it worked. Jason could see, how Sehyoon’s mother also looked back curiously.  She lightly punched her elbow in her son’s side.

“Could it be that the boy is calling for you?” Jason could hear her asking.

Now the other also turned around, looking bewildered and stopped walking. Jason continued running and finally reached them.

“Finally...you waited,” he got out, panting.

Then he looked up and was met with the same brown eyes, he had always loved to drown in and which had followed him in his memories, wherever he went. But even though they were Sehyoon’s eyes, they weren’t the one he knew. The warm glimmer, with which the older had always looked at him, was missing and instead replaced by confusion and curiosity. The feeling that something was completely wrong, manifested even more in Jason. The older raised his eyebrows in question, while he eyed him.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

Jason’s voice seemed to have disappeared. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t get a word out and could only stare.

 _Something isn’t right. This isn’t how it should be_. He thought over and over again.

“I…I have something important to tell you.”

Sehyoon cocked his head.

“Okay, go on…”

“I know it sounds crazy…but you have to believe me! Your life depends on it.”

He took a deep breath and continued,

“When you are around 26 years old, you’ll get hit by a truck and die. I actually thought you are already dead but then I saw you on TV and I just had to come and tell you. Maybe you can somehow prevent it! How old are you right now? Oh, you can’t cross any streets! You got hit while crossing one…on a day, you had a date with a woman you liked…,” he tried to recall more details, but they had hardly ever talked about the accident in the past, “I can’t remember more, but that’s what you’ve told me, so you—”

“Do I know you?”

Jason looked back up and saw into the offended looking face of his former best friend.

“W…what...?” He stammered.

“You just said that apparently, I’ve told you this stuff but I can’t even remember having ever met you before. Do you think this is funny? Is death a funny topic to you, about which you and your friends can laugh? Are they hiding somewhere and watching? Are you winning something out of this?!”

Sehyoon’s expression was angry now and Jason slowly backed away. He had never behaved that way in front of him ever and it scared the younger.

“No…I would never...,” he tried to defend himself, but it was useless.

“You should be in school, doing something meaningful and study for a good life instead of bother other people that have better things to do.”

“But I’m telling the truth, you have to believe me…”

Tears started to gather in his eyes and he felt despair rising in him. He needed Sehyoon to believe him or it would eventually be too late. The older only shook his head as if he was deeply disappointed by his actions and turned to his mother,

“Let’s go. My break is nearly over and you still couldn’t give me my notes, I forgot.”

Then he turned away, without another look at Jason. His mother curiously eyed him one last time, before she did the same. But he couldn’t just let him run into his doom.

“Please, you have to believe me! Sehyoon!”

At the sound of his name, the other quickly turned around again and looked directly into Jason’s eyes, anger still burning in them.

“Don’t call my name ever again! I don’t know you, so leave me alone!”

After that he quickly walked away, leaving the younger back alone and upset.  Sehyoon didn’t know him. He hadn’t ever met him and he had no idea who he was… The tears, he had somehow held back until now, started to fall. He should have known, it would be that way. How could it be different?

“What am I supposed to do now? Why did living always seem so hard without you, but now that I met you everything is even harder to bear?” He whispered to himself, before he walked in the other direction.

He would not give up that easily. Instead, Jason would find out, what exactly was going on and do everything he could, to save the older. Just like Sehyoon had always done the same for him.

 

* * *

 

Three years later, he had done it.

Together with Chan and Seungjun (and also Hyojin because the two were inseparable by now), he had graduated from University and got a job in the same company as Sehyoon. He would be closer to the other than he had been, since their last encounter on the street which had ended…well…not in the way in which he had hoped it would.

It was Sunday evening and he and Chan had gotten invited for dinner at Seungjun’s and Hyojin’s place. The two lived together since they had been roommates in University and they didn’t need to think long, before they decided to do the same, even afterwards.

 _“No reason to live in a small, crappy and still too expensive apartment, as long as we can just live together comfortably and share the rent.”_ Had been Seungjun’s excuse _._

Even though you could clearly see the love in his eyes, whenever he looked at the other, he only didn’t want to admit it to himself. Jason had to know it the best. Like on command, his friend appeared in the door, balancing plates and glasses in his arms.

“Are you sure, you don’t need our help?” Jason wanted to know, for probably the tenth time, but like the other times he had asked, Seungjun shook his head.

“No, we’ll be fine, don’t worry.” He turned down his offer, while carefully placing the plates on the table, on the other side of the room.

When he was done, he turned around and smiled at Jason (and also Chan, but he was busy, playing with his phone, seemingly blending out the rest of the world).

“Hyojin and I both like cooking for you and we want to practice.”

“But we could still help with setting up the table or—,” he was interrupted by Hyojin calling for Seungjun, before he suddenly also entered the room, looking happy and with a spoon in one hand.

“Seungjun-ah! Come here, I need you to test taste the sauce!”

He did as him was told and the other carefully fed him, whatever was on the spoon.  
After letting the taste enfold for a moment, a bright smile light up his whole face.

“Whoaa! That’s amazing! You are amazing!”

Hyojin returned his smile and they seemed to have forgotten that Jason and Chan were in the same room or even the same world as them. Jason wanted nothing more than to scream at them, to get there shit together, before it would be too late. At least his friends shouldn’t make the same mistakes as him, but he stayed silent instead. Suddenly a strange smell doffed over from the kitchen and woke the two from their spell.

“Oh no, the food!” Hyojin screamed panic-stricken and they both hastily hurried back into the kitchen.

“Are they together yet?” Jason asked and watched after the couple.

Chan shook his head, without looking up from his phone.

“Nope,” he said, letting the p make a popping sound.

“You are kidding me…everybody thinks they are dating since freshman year…and they kind of are. When will they finally realize it? Should I talk to Seungjun?”

The other looked up.

“No way. He’ll think you are making fun of him…and especially Hyojin. He’ll be sulky for a week.”

He sighed. “You are right...So stupid…That doesn’t make any sense…”

“Well, you only started working in your company because you want to stalk this guy…” Chan threw in, but Jason was quick to counter,

“You nearly burned down the whole Building, while trying to get on the good side of your crush.”

He shot back and the other immediately looked up, ears getting a dark shade of red.

“What was his name again…Jonas…? Julian? Ju…Juuuu…,” he tried to recall the name.

“Jun. And that’s not true! It only happened once!”

Jason raised his eyebrows and started grinning.

“Really? Then what about the other time, you followed him into the park and ended up falling into the fountain? What did you say to him again? I think I fell for you…?”

He couldn’t hold back his laughers by now and his friend stared at him, still looking more embarrassed than angry, even though he really tried.

“I was still a kid…And he was my first crush. I had no idea how to act around him.” He defended himself.

Jason’s laugher lessened and turned into a soft smile instead. Then he leaned over and hugged his best friend.

“You know, I’m only joking. I think he didn’t mind…you were extremely cute.”

The other let out a snort, still not hugging back.

“That’s not helping me…but I’m never going to see him again anyway…”

“Yeah…at least he knows you exist…” Jason whispered quietly and more to himself than Chan.

* * *

 

“Ahh…” Jason cried out, all the paper he had held in his hands, until some seconds ago, scattering on the floor around him.

A good Monday morning like always…He was in the building for not even fifteen minutes and was already knocked down by some idiot who thought he had a tighter schedule than everybody else and was therefore in the right to not care about anything around him.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry! I somehow didn’t see you there. Wait, I’m going to help you.” The idiot surprisingly apologized and held out a hand to him.

Jason was about to tell him, he wouldn’t take the hand of such a rude person like him and maybe yell some curse words too, when he looked up and right into Sehyoon’s eyes. The words he had wanted to say, immediately died in his throat. The expression of the other was concerned and a little embarrassed. It looked cute, at least until he started to frown.

“Do I know you?” He asked and Jason wanted to punch something or just die.

He shook his head. He definitely wouldn’t tell him about their last encounter.

“I don’t think so…I only started working here not long ago.”

“Ah, sorry. You just kind of looked familiar…By the way, is something wrong with my hand?”

“Huh?” Jason looked down again and realized that the other was still waiting for him, to take his hand and that he was still sitting on the floor.

“Oh, no. Of course not!” He quickly grabbed it and got pulled up.

Feeling the familiar grip made his heart ache with longing and he wanted to just keep holding his hand forever. However, the sound of Sehyoon clearing his throat brought him back to reality and he immediately let go, heat rising to his cheeks. Meanwhile the older hastily started to pick up the papers on the floor around them. When he had finished, he gave them back to Jason and smiled.

“Th…thanks.” He stammered.

“No problem. It’s my fault after all. Again, I’m sorry. It’s just…I want to ask someone out for a date today and I must be more nervous than I thought I would be…And I have no idea why I’m telling you all this.”

He laughed embarrassed and pushed the call button for the elevator, not noticing the color fading from the younger’s face.

“A…date?” He asked horrified.

Sehyoon nodded. “Yes, if everything goes well, I’ll ask her to eat dinner with me tomorrow…why? Scared I’ll steal your crush? Don’t worry, I think you are a little too young for her anyway.”

The elevator arrived and they both stepped in. It was empty except them, because it was already late and everybody else was probably where they should be, working.

Jason wanted to scream or hold on Sehyoon without ever letting him go again and beg him to not go on the date. However, he also knew, if he would act like last time, Sehyoon wouldn’t believe him again and would still pursue his plan. But if he did nothing, he would probably die and he couldn’t let that happen. So, he decided to put all his eggs in one basket,

“Actually…I…,” he stammered and his heart started to beat at double speed.

Sehyoon’s eyes looked at him curiously. Jason took a deep breath. He knew it was a stupid idea which wouldn’t work, but his brain seemed to be empty and maybe he still had some hope left. He had nothing to lose anyways.

“Actually, I hoped…uhh…I wanted to ask you, if you would like to maybe…have dinner with me sometimes…”

The older stared at him with wide eyes.

“Oh,” was everything he said after a moment and Jason felt the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. It reminded him so much of the Sehyoon, he knew and the pain in his heart became even worse.

“I’m sorry but…I’m…I don’t…” He nervously ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m straight.”

Now Jason couldn’t hold back anymore. A loud, dry laugh came out of his mouth.

“Are you sure about that?” He asked and Sehyoon’s expression changed from confused and embarrassed to angry.

“Yes, I am. I mean how would you know it better than me? And why would I go on a date with someone I don’t know anyways?”

Jason snorted amused.

“You don’t know your date either, am I not right? I know you better than you will ever know her. I mean, you are not even sure, if you like her. You only want to date her, because your parents will like it!”

At the expression in Seyhoon’s face, he could see that he had hit the truth. That shouldn’t be a surprise, he had just repeated what the other himself had told him so long ago. After a short moment, the older opened his mouth, to say something, but in that moment, the elevator stopped and Jason ran out, without looking back, tears gathering in his eyes, like so often. He just felt so desperate and was angry at himself. He still had no idea how he was supposed to stop Sehyoon from dying, but instead of doing something against it, he acted like a jealous idiot and had wasted his only chance to somehow convince him to not go on the date.

But he wouldn’t just give up. He would prevent the accident from happening. Even if he had to follow the other the whole day tomorrow.

* * *

 

Like that he found himself stalking Sehyoon the whole next day. The woman seemed to have said yes to the older’s offer for dinner, because he was especially cheerful. Meanwhile, Jason‘s mood fitted the weather quite well. Dark and rainy. But luckily because of this, Sehyoon decided to not go out for lunch and stay inside instead. The thing was, Chan knew, his friend would die on the day of the date, but he didn’t know, if maybe it was another one or at what time exactly the accident would happen. It could be before or after the dinner, but at least he should be safe, as long as he was inside, because crossing streets there was kind of hard.

This way, hour after hour passed and soon it was already evening and everybody left for the weekend, Sehyoon included.  
While following him on the way home, Jason nearly died himself, because of stress. Whenever the older came closer to a street than 10 meters, he prepared himself to jump on it and drag him away from it again. But this time too, nothing happened and they both safely arrived at Sehyoon’s apartment complex, Jason still unseen by his former friend and now sweating.  
Since it would have been quite conspicuous, he didn’t follow him inside and waited in front of the entrance, hidden by a bush. Even though it was a complete different situation, it reminded him of all the times he had played hide and seek with Sehyoon and his chest felt warm at the memory.

However, by the time, the older finally appeared outside again, Jason had nearly been frozen to an ice sculpture, because to top it all, it also had started raining. But at the sight of Sehyoon, nice dressed and fully styled, with a black umbrella in his hands, he immediately thawed again. In his opinion, he looked hot enough to be able to replace the sun and he wanted nothing more than to be the one, the other had dressed like this for. Once more, Jason felt jealousy rise in him, but he shook it off. This wasn’t important right now.

Quickly he started walking behind Sehyoon, letting some space between them, so he wouldn’t get noticed. Like the past times, everything went smoothly, without any kind of danger.  
Jason was already about to breath and relax for the moment and until after the date, when it all happened, in only a timespan of some seconds.

They stood at a traffic light, hardly any people or cars around, and the signal went green.  
Sehyoon started to cross the street, the younger some meters behind him, to not attract attention, when suddenly a truck appeared out of nowhere. It raced down the street and directly towards the older, without slowing down, apparently not seeing him, nor caring about the red signal.  
Jason couldn’t move, while he watched in horror, how the truck came closer and closer.  
Then suddenly, the life came back into his body.

“Sehyoon! Watch out!” He screamed but the other was too far away and didn’t hear him.

Jason started running as fast as he could, but he knew, he wouldn’t be able to make it in time. Still he ran, driven by adrenalin and his despair. The gap between them closed itself way too slow and he felt hopeless.

“Sehyoon! Run!” He screamed again, his lungs feeling like they would burst at any moment, and this time the older seemed to have heard him.

Confused he stopped and looked back, to search for the person who was calling him, before his eyes fell on the approaching truck. By now, Jason had nearly reached him and could clearly see the way in which Sehyoon’s eyes widened in horror and a second later how his body collided with the truck. Because of the speed and strength of it, Sehyoon seemed to fly over the whole street, before he remained motionless a few meters away.

“NO!” Jason cried out horrified.

As fast as possible, he ran to Sehyoon and fell on his knees next to him. The older looked, like he had directly come out of one of Jason’s nightmares. Full of blood which started to get mixed with the rain, the limbs unnaturally twisted and without moving.

“Sehyoon! Can you hear me? Sehyoon, please!“ He called.

He couldn’t be dead. He just couldn’t. It had been his task to prevent this from happening! Jason’s thoughts were a mess and he felt tears streaming down his face. He desperately started repeating Sehyoon’s name over and over again, like that would somehow heal him again.

“Sehyoon…Sehyoon…Sehyoon…” It only came out as whimpering.

Suddenly the older slightly opened his eyes, not really focusing anything. Hope washed over Jason like a wave.

“Thank God, you aren’t dead! You have to hold on, do you hear me!”

He carefully bed Sehyoon’s head in his lap, but then his eyes slowly started to close themselves again and panic rose in Jason.

“You have to stay awake! Please, Sehyoon, or else I will lose you and I can’t lose you again! Please…,” he begged. “I can’t lose you without even having found you properly.”

Meanwhile, other people had started gathering around them, shouting and hastily dialing the number of the emergency call, but Jason completely blended them out. The only important thing right now was his friend. He took his hand and clasped it, as if he could prevent Sehyoon from leaving this world, if he only held on him tight enough, sobs shaking his whole body.

“Please, you can’t leave me, I love you.” He sobbed, feverishly stroking his dark hair with shaking and bloody hands. Then he bent down and softly pressed a kiss to Sehyoon’s forehead, not caring that he could taste the other’s blood on his lips nor that his clothes were completely soaked with rain water and the red liquid by now.

“I love you,” he whispered once more, putting as much of the love and longing he felt in these three words as possible.

At this, the older slightly opened his eyes again, one last time. He seemed to use all strength left in him, to focus and looked directly at the younger, his eyes tracing every of Jason’s features with an expression as if he saw him properly for the first time. 

“Jason…?” He mumbled, so quietly that the other would never know if he had heard it right, before his eyes closed themselves again and the life eventually faded out of his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never read this while listening to Dumbledor's farewell (Harry Potter Ost)  
> Except you want to make it worse...I did it and it was horrible, even tho I wrote this scene and I'm never really convinced by them, when I wrote them myself :") But with that song it really hurt ( I have a whole playlist with sad songs just for writing sad scenes lol) 
> 
> I'm so so sorry okay...:( It had to be...


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but we hope it, we know it. 
> 
> ~Joann Wolfgang von Goethe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter 0.o Do you hear me crying???
> 
> This is really really long (I needed hours rereading and revising it srsly) so grab some snacks and a tea or whatever and make yourself comfortable…it’s gonna be a ride  
> And the ff became so much longer than I wanted it to be and than I expected lol 
> 
> Btw, if you haven’t noticed yet (and I wouldn’t have if I were you guys) I rewrote the beginning of the first chapter, because I hated it and I think it fits better now. So if you are interested you can read the new stuff I fabricated :”) (I’m still not totally satisfied with it tho)
> 
> Happy Easter to you all :D (this is my present to you)
> 
> Aaand I got twitter so if you want to tell me how you liked my story (or more story updates and fangirling over too many groups) you can follow me [here](https://twitter.com/silbermond1999) :D

When he opened his eyes, everything around him was still blurry.  
But he could see that there were a lot of people next to him, seemingly hectic.  
  
“He opened his eyes!” An unfamiliar voice said and it sounded too loud in Sehyoon’s ears.

One of the persons around him took his arm and another shone into his eyes with a small lamp.

“His pupils react normally.”

Was that the voice of a woman?

“His pulse seems to slowly normalize, too.”

In the background Sehyoon heard a beeping. He tried to sit up but his body didn’t obey the way he wanted it to.

“Where…where am I?” He asked and his voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

Slowly his sight became clearer and he could see the people around him better. They looked at each other with surprised expressions. One of the woman smiled at him slightly.

“You are in the Cha General Hospital. You maybe don’t remember, but you were involved in an accident and…you were in a coma for seven months.”

“What?! Only seven months?! But how…I…I’ve spent years with him! I watched him grow up! How can all this just have been a dream?”

At the thought of Jason, he felt despair raising in him. He couldn’t accept the fact that the younger had apparently really only been an imagination, after everything that had happened and had felt so real. He couldn’t just leave him again. Jason needed him! How was Sehyoon supposed to live his life like this? The beeping became louder and faster and the doctor glanced at a monitor, concern written on his face.  
  
“Give him something to calm him down. So much excitement is not good for him yet.” He ordered.

One of the nurses searched for something in one of the drawers while the other and the doctor tried to calm Sehyoon down.

“I know it’s a shock, but you need to keep calm!” The man said.

“While lying in a coma, it’s possible to imagine things and be in a complete different place, you’ve never seen before, but that’s only a sort of dream. So, whoever you are talking about, either doesn’t exist or will surely visit you, the next few days.” He explained but it clearly didn’t help Sehyoon to feel better at all.

He tried to get up again but was pressed back into the bed.

“Please, you need to keep lying down! You’ll need to recover first.”

“No!” He screamed and tried to get out of their grips.

“Please! I need to go back! He needs me! I…”

In the meantime, the first nurse had found the tranquillizer and carefully injected it into his arm.  
Immediately, he felt a leaden fatigue and he tried to fight against it, unsuccessfully.

“I…need…he…,” but even forming a sentence seemed too difficult now, just like keeping his eyes open.

“No…” was his last word before he passed out.

 

* * *

 

When he became conscious again, the nurses and the doctor were gone and a woman was sitting next to his bed instead. When she realized, he was awake, she leaned over him, her face full of worry.

“How do you feel? Oh my God, I can’t believe you are awake again, they told us there was not much hope left.”

Tears started to stream down her face and she clasped his hand in her own. Sehyoon frowned and he needed some seconds to recognize her.

“Mother?” He asked.

 She let out a sob and smiled.

“Yes, it’s me. Thank God, you know who I am. I was so afraid you wouldn’t…”

“Why wouldn’t I recognize my own mother?” He wanted to know and tried to sit up for the second time. But again, he was too weak, so he could only keep lying and stare at her.

Meanwhile his mother sighed.

“You’ve got hit pretty badly…it had somehow affected your brain and that’s why you immediately fell into a coma. It’s also the reason why they told us, it would be very unlikely for you to ever wake up again and that if you still would, you would need help to live for the rest of your life. They told us it would be better to just let you go but…I just couldn’t…”

By now she was helplessly sobbing and Sehyoon squeezed her hand, since he couldn’t do much else to comfort her. Slowly she calmed down a little, so she could continue talking,

“You have no idea how surprised they were when you talked to them and even tried to move. They still can’t believe it. The doctor told me, they need to check more about your condition and make a lot of different tests but for now you seem to be fine and that’s nearly impossible.”

She laughed through her tears and stroke his cheek.

“You are miracle…like always. You never let me down once…even now, you came back to me.”

Sehyoon tried to smile but he couldn’t. He had come back to his mother but he had to leave Jason for that.

* * *

 

Day after day passed and Sehyoon had to go through seemingly a thousand different checkups and tests, to assess his health condition.  
He also started to get more and more visitors, after his doctor gave his approval, because Sehyoon’s condition got better with every day. The doctors still didn’t have any idea how this was possible and every five minutes came another doctor from everywhere in the whole country, to see the miracle with his own two eyes. Sehyoon hated to feel like a test subject, but all the fuss at least distracted him.  His mother came daily too and even his father tried to show up as often as he could. The same applied to his two best, and only friends, Donghun and Jun which he knew from university some years ago. They all tried to make him feel comfortable and help Sehyoon catch up with everything he had missed, like Donghun getting a promotion and Jun breaking up with his girlfriend. Life had gone on without Sehyoon, even though they all told him it had been hard and how much they had missed him, and he didn’t mind. He would have never wanted them to get destroyed because of him and was happy, they had gotten through this so well.

The moment he was afraid of however, was when the visitor time ended and they all had to leave.  
Because then he was alone in his room, with his thoughts and nothing to distract him from them, and it killed him every time. His doctor said he was fine but even though he smiled to his family and his friends, when they called his good state a miracle, he didn’t feel fine at all.  
Every second, nobody was there to keep him from thinking, Jason appeared in front of his eyes and the pain he felt whenever he saw the smiling or sometimes even crying face in his thoughts, was indescribable. Although it was the most logic explanation and the doctor, too, had told him about it, he couldn’t believe that the boy he had seen grow up, until he became a handsome young man which he fell in love with later on, had only been an imagination. A dream, caused by the coma.   
  
Shortly after he had gotten the permission, to use his phone again, he had tried to find the town in which he had spent the last seven years (or at least it had felt like seven years), but without any success. All information about his stay were erased and even some memories about his time with Jason started to slowly fade and disappear, like…after a dream.  
  
Sehyoon groaned in frustration and put the notebook, he had written in until now, away.  
It had been a recommendation of his doctor who said it would eventually help him with his memories and to cope with the whole situation, to write down his thoughts, feelings or any questions he wanted to ask.  So Sehyoon had started to note down everything, he could remember about his dream with the little boy called Jason. Reading the stories about their time together, made the lonely, dark night hours bearable and he felt like he was still connected to the other somehow. Even if he had only been his invention.  
The notebook slowly became the friend he had lost, to whom he could entrust all his secrete thoughts and feelings. He even started to form his entrances like letters, he addressed to the younger and he didn’t care if everybody thought he was crazy…now he finally knew how Jason had felt the whole time.  
  
“Sehyoon? Are you awake?”

His mother, finally a distraction.

“Yes, come in!” He called and she entered the room, a smile on her face and food in her hands. 

“I brought something to eat. I know you don’t like the food here, you’ve become even thinner the last two weeks.”

She started to unpack everything on the table and Sehyoon sat up straighter with a sigh, before he started to slowly eat, under the strict stare of his mother.

“Just like that. You need to eat enough, to get healthy again.”  
She sighed.

“I still feel so guilty because of your accident…”

“Why should you? There were no ways for you to do anything against it…you were on the other side of the city.”

 Sehyoon hated that his mother was blaming herself and he was tired to have this conversation over and over again. He just wanted her to finally understand that it hadn’t been her fault.

“I know. That is not what I mean…but I should have reminded you every day, to be more careful while crossing the streets…”

“But you couldn’t have known!” His patience slowly disappeared.

“I did know! And you did, too. Don’t you remember? Some years ago, a while after you had gotten the job at your company, this weird boy came up to us and said some crazy stuff about you dying at the age of 26 or something, because of an accident you’ll get in, while you are crossing a street. He told you to not cross any streets in that year. We both thought it was only a stupid prank or bet he had with his friends and laughed about it…can’t you remember it at all?”

Sehyoon frowned. He could remember, but only darkly and the memories of this strange event were blurred. What he still clearly knew though, was that he had thought the boy had great potential as an actor. His eyes had been full of desperation and the thing which had creeped him out the most was that he had known his name. He even called for him. But later he realized, the boy must have had picked it up earlier, when his mother and him were talking.

“It was the first thing that came into my mind when I saw you…nearly dead…in a coma. He was right! He must have been a clairvoyant. And I didn’t listen to him! I should have! Do you know how I felt?!”

Sehyoon sighed again and reached for her hand.

“It was probably just a coincidence…nothing else…”

His mother looked at him, dead serious.

“There are no coincidences in this world.”  
  
After that, they both stayed silent for a while, until Sehyoon’s mother sighed and softly smiled at him.

“Even though, I’m a horrible mother—”

“You are not. Stop this!” He interrupted her immediately, but she continued anyways,

“…at least you got really good friends. One of them visit you nearly every day…such a kind young man.”

Sehyoon frowned.

“Which one do you mean?”

“I can’t remember his name. We never really talked. Sometimes we simply sat next to each other and I don’t know why…but it helped me a lot to get through all this…”

He smiled and squeezed her hand. Tears shimmered in his mother’s eyes and she smiled back.

“It probably was Jun…even though Donghun would maybe do something like this too…” He thought aloud.

His mother shook her head.

“I know Donghun and Jun. They came to visit you often, too, but I know how they look like and what their names are. It was another friend of yours.”

He froze and looked at her bewildered.

“They are my only two friends…I don’t have another one…”

His mother’s expression was full of surprise.

“Really? But he told me he was a friend of yours…and why else should he have come here every day to sit by your bed and tell you stories about friendship and love when you don’t even know him?”

She was right. That wouldn’t make any sense.

“Maybe I do know him, but forgot because of the accident…?” He thought aloud and got a nod as a response.

“That’s a possibility…Oh!”

His mother suddenly sat up straighter and started to search for something in her handbag, before she fished out a crinkly piece of paper.

“He told me to give you this, for the case you’ll wake up while he is away…I don’t think he really expected it though. It was kind of just a precaution. He had to leave Korea for a while, that’s also why he hasn’t visited you yet. He’ll probably explain more in the letter. While you are reading it, I’m going to search for some tea, okay?”

With these words, she disappeared out of the room and left Sehyoon alone with the letter of the mysterious person.

“Whatever…” He mumbled to himself, while opening it, before he started to read,  
  
_Dear Sehyoon,_  
  
_You are in a coma for seven months now and everybody says there isn’t much hope so I don’t think you’ll read this letter soon or maybe ever, but never mind…I’m still writing and leaving it for you…just because…what if?_  
_I have to visit my family, so I have to leave Korea for a short while. I don’t want to go, but because of you I already missed like…four birthdays and a wedding and even though I don’t want to leave your side, I can’t miss my grandma’s funeral._  
_It's funny how everywhere I go, there is death. Or no…that’s not true…you aren’t dead. You can’t be. If you are reading this, you aren’t but you are also an ass because you choose to wake up as soon as I’m gone for five minutes and that is mean!_  
_Just joking. I want nothing more than for you to wake up and maybe even smile at me again someday. Even if it's just from afar and actually not meant for me. I will still be happy, I’ve always been. I don’t know if you remember, but whenever I visited you, I told you many different stories and I think you liked them…at least your mother did. I know that she always secretly listened…_  
_God…I don’t even know what or why I’m writing this…probably because it gives me the hope, you’ll read it someday._  
_If you do though…please text the number, I wrote down…I just remembered that you’ll maybe not be able to do so…maybe your mother can do it then…_  
_Anyways, this letter is too long and confusing by now…it’s more for me than for you…_  
_I just hope you’ll still be there when I come back…promise me you will be…_  
  
_I’m going to be back soon,_

 _K.B_  
  
Sehyoon read the whole letter five times, but he still didn’t get any idea who the hell had written it. The handwriting was unfamiliar and so was the name.

“K.B?” He asked himself, but nobody with these letters came into his mind.

Well…the best way to find out, was probably texting the number, like K.B wanted him to, and just ask. He took his phone from the nightstand and decided to get straight to the point with three short messages,

 **To Weird Guy (K.B)**  
_Hey_  
_It’s Sehyoon…_  
_I just wanted to tell you that I woke up and got your letter…_

This was pretty awkward but still better than calling the person.

 **From Weird Guy (K.B)  
** _Of course, you woke up…like five minutes after I left…_

 

Came the reply not even 10 minutes later which Sehyoon had spent staring at the chat, as if he could see the person on the other side through it, when he just paid enough attention to it.  
He had expected something else though.

 **To Weird Guy (K.B)**  
_Who are you? Do I know you? Your number wasn’t saved in my phone._

He quickly asked the question, he wanted to know the most. It took some time, until he got a response again and meanwhile he could watch how the other person tipped, before he deleted, whatever he had written, again. Seemingly after an eternity, a new message finally plopped up on his screen. Excited he read it and then sunk back in disappointment. It was short,

 **From Weird Guy (K.B)**  
_No, you don’t know me._

This didn’t help him at all. Who the hell was this weird person?!

 **To Weird Guy (K.B)**  
_Well, my mother told me, you visited me a lot…so I would love to change that and maybe even thank you in person?_

He suggested and then waited for the reply. Again it took some time, until he got one,

 **From Weird Guy (K.B)  
** _I don’t know if that is a good idea…_

 **To Weird Guy (K.B)  
** _Why?_

 **From Weird Guy (K.B)  
** _Because disappointment hurts…_

Sehyoon frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

 **To Weird Guy (K.B)  
** _Why should I be disappointed?_

 **From Weird Guy (K.B)  
** _Not you, but me_

 

Now he had enough. This whole conversation only confused him even more than he already was. So, he tapped the little receiver symbol and waited while the connection built up.  
First, he thought the weird guy wouldn’t pick up, but after some time, the tooting stopped and he could hear somebody breathing silently. He waited but the other person didn’t say anything, so he decided to just start,  
  
“Hello…?” Sehyoon asked uncertain.

No answer but he could swear the breathing became louder and quicker.

“K.B?” He tried again.

“It’s really you…” Whispered a voice and it sounded full of unbelief.

“I told you, I woke up.”

“True, but I couldn’t really believe it. They told us, we should keep our hope low…I thought you are dead.”

Something in the voice of the stranger seemed to affect his body. He couldn’t tell what exactly it was but he realized that he liked his voice a lot and he automatically relaxed.

 “Well…I’m not.” He answered.

“I can hear that…”

The other guy chuckled a little, seemingly really happy.  Sehyoon didn’t know this person, but he seemed to care for him a lot and it made Sehyoon feeling warm.

“How do you feel? Isn’t it kind of…not normal that you are able to do things like texting or even calling me?” K.B wanted to know.

Sehyoon shrugged his shoulders, even though the other couldn’t see him.

“My doctors are calling it a miracle. Nobody knows how it’s possible and I don’t really care. I’m just happy I won’t need help from other people and machines to live, the whole rest of my life…”

“Yeah…I’m really happy too…I have to tell the good news to my friends! Oh, and I’m gonna come back to Seoul next week…so if you still want to get to know me, I can visit you in the hospital.”

“Of course, I want to know you! If you spent so much time with a person, you didn’t even know, you must be really kind and I want to thank you.”

It was silent for a short period before K.B said something again,

“I’m not that kind…I wouldn’t have done it for someone I don’t know…”

This made Sehyoon more confused, if that was even possible.

“Wait, what do you mean you—,” but he got interrupted by the other guy shouting something that was seemingly not addressed to him.

“Sorry, my mother called. I really have to go now, but I’m gonna visit you as soon as I can okay? See yah…bye!”

“But when exactly is soon and what is your name?” Sehyoon asked but it was too late.

The mysterious other had already hung up. He looked at his phone in frustration. The questions hadn’t become less, but more instead and he felt a headache growing. Massaging his temples, he sunk back into his bed. He wanted nothing more than to finally be allowed to walk again…or answers. Answers would be good too.  
  
“Is everything okay?”

In the door stood his mother, holding two cups with, what he assumed must be tea. He nodded tiredly and took the cup, his mother handed him.

“I’m just still getting tired quickly.”

* * *

 

The next week came and ended but without someone called K.B showing up or anybody he didn’t already know. Then one more and another passed and Sehyoon kind of gave up on waiting for the weird guy. He was really curious, but apparently, the other had decided against visiting him (for whatever reason) and he started to focus more on increasing his health and strength than solving this odd mystery. At the end of the fifth week, Sehyoon was finally strong enough to move around on his own with crutches to support him and his doctor allowed him to go for short walks in the hospital garden or to the cafeteria. It was already summer and he loved to sit outside in the warm weather with his family and friends, or simply alone, and to enjoy the sun on his skin. The months he had spent inside, had made his skin paler than it had been in a very long time, but now, even after such a short time, he had gotten some color again.  
This afternoon, too, he had gone out into the nice weather for a while and also made a detour to the cafeteria, before going back to his room.  
Now that he felt a lot better, his mother came only every second day, because she had to work more again, and all his other visitors hadn’t told him anything about showing up today, so he was extremely surprised when a nurse, he met on his way, informed him that someone was waiting for him in his room.  He thanked her for telling him and quickened his pace, curious about who it could be.  Maybe Jun or Donghun had some time left and decided to visit him? But they would have texted him…right? Or maybe his father?  
  
He reached the door to his room and peeked through the little window in the upper half.  There was indeed someone sitting on one of the two chairs, facing the other direction and fidgeting, seemingly very nervous. Sehyoon couldn’t really make out more, but he spotted pale blond dyed hair on the head of the person. Also, because it was a short haircut, he assumed that his visitor was probably male and that Sehyoon didn’t know him.  
  
_What if…what if that’s K.B?_ He thought but immediately chased away the idea _. He wanted to visit you nearly a month ago and before that, he sounded like he actually didn’t want to see you ever again at all. So, don’t get your hopes too high up…_

But just standing outside and stalking the guy wouldn’t lead him to any answers, therefore Sehyoon took a deep breath and opened the door. At the sound of his entering, the mysterious man on the chair instantly got up and turned around and their eyes met, before everything around Sehyoon just stopped. He couldn’t hear any sounds and nothing around them moved. Like so often before, it was as if time itself was frozen, leaving only two people which could be in motion.  
  
In front of him stood Jason.

Well at least he looked extremely similar to Jason. But the man standing in front of him wasn’t the little boy or the green teenager, he had seen grow up.  In front of him stood a young, trained man who was even more handsome than the last time Sehyoon had seen him. His face had lost the last remaining childlike features and in return had gotten sharper. But despite all this, Sehyoon was still taller than him. He took all that in, while just staring at the younger for an eternity. He couldn’t do anything else. Neither moving nor speaking, only staring. Sehyoon didn’t even know, how he kept breathing. Jason did the same, but he seemed to need less time to cope, with seeing the other again, like he had already expected it.  
  
Then he suddenly heard somebody laughing and it took him some time to realize that it was his own laugh. He stood in front of Jason and just laughed like he was crazy or something.  The other frowned and looked at him with a mix of worry and confusion.

“Why…why are you laughing?” He asked uncertain.

Sehyoon shook his head and tried to calm down, so he could answer, but he needed a while until he could speak again,

“It’s just…I think I’ve lost my mind? Like…maybe I got a sunstroke or something, because I’m definitely hallucinating right now. God, did it feel like this for you too, when you realized nobody else except me could see you?” He started to laugh again and nearly missed how Jason’s confused eyes became bigger.

His expression changed from nervous to excited and he opened his mouth to say something, but Sehyoon silenced him with a wave of his hand.

“Never mind, that was just a dream. You were just a dream. I probably felt like I had missed out on my childhood and that’s why I created it in my dream, together with a perfect friend. But my subconscious knew, nothing was real and assimilated it, by making me invisible and you questioning your sanity. At least that’s what my therapist told me…”

His laughter had calmed down and he felt the pain of the last weeks rising in him instead, again.

“It’s the same how it was in my dream, only the roles are switched. I’m real but you aren’t. I can see you, but nobody else can. I love and miss you, but you can’t do the same for me, because you never existed in the first place!”

Sehyoon felt how tears started streaming down his face and Jason’s expression looked horrified now. He slowly took some steps closer to the older and reached for his arm but seemed like he was afraid to touch him. His eyes shimmering with tears, too.

“But…I’m real…” He whispered weakly.

Sehyoon snorted.

“And how do you explain that I saw you in my dream, while lying in a coma? Even if I would have visited you as a spirit or ghost or whatsoever…how do you explain that I was 12 again at the beginning and spent 7 whole years with you even though I only was in a coma for seven months? Or that you were much younger when…when I had to leave you?”

At the thought of this memory, he choked on a sob. God, how much he missed Jason and how much he wanted the man in front of him to really be real. But he also knew that was impossible.  Suddenly Sehyoon felt Jason’s hand, who had finally got enough courage and started to gently stroke his upper arm. The older slightly flinched at the sudden contact but couldn’t help himself but lean into the touch. Jason took it as affirmation to continue what he was doing, before he carefully held Sehyoon’s chin with his other hand and turned the older’s head, so he had to look at him. Then he softly smiled and begun to also caress his cheek.

“You have no idea how much I wanted to do this all this time…,” he said quietly and Sehyoon closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of Jason’s tender touch.

It took a while until he spoke again but at the same time Sehyoon felt like no time had passed at all.  
  
“After you suddenly disappeared, so short after I had finally acknowledged my feelings for you, I was devastated. Because this time I knew, you would never come back to me….”

To think about it seemed to hurt Jason as much as him, because his voice sounded weary.

“That time was really hard. I made a lot of people worry about me… After a while I got back to my normal live, but that didn’t mean I felt fine. I just…functioned. I still hoped you would somehow appear again, like you did the last time, but of course you never did.”

He made a short pause.

“After a while I was almost convinced you really hadn’t been real after all and I was about to go back into therapy, when…I saw you…”

The smile appeared on Jason’s face again and Sehyoon looked at him perplexed.

“When…how…?” Were the only words he got out, but the younger still understood him.

“I was watching TV, because I wanted to distract myself from the empty house, when a report about a company in Seoul came on.”

He chuckled as if he still could not believe it.

“It really must have been fate, because I just wanted to switch the channel, when you suddenly appeared behind the guy who was giving an interview. At first, I couldn’t believe it, you only appeared for like…five seconds, but I watched it again and again, for probably a hundred times, and in the end, I was sure that it really had been you.”

Sehyoon looked at him with an open mouth and wide eyes. It was true that his former chef had given an interview to a news reporter, shortly after he had gotten the job in the company, but he actually hadn’t been supposed to be captured by the cameras.  Jason continued,  
  
“I immediately told Chan and Seungjun about it and they still didn’t really believe me but wanted to help anyways. That was shortly before I remembered, you told me you got into a deathly accident when you were around the age of 26. So, I decided I had to warn you…and I also couldn’t wait to see you again. But I was really naïve back then…”

His expression darkened again.

“I worked out a plan and studied like crazy, so that I could attend an University in Seoul. My parents were amazed, they still can’t believe their luck to have such a talented, hardworking son like me…  
When I got here, I needed nearly three months to meet you. When I finally saw you standing on the other side of the street, with your mother, I couldn’t believe my eyes and I just kind of lost it.”

Jason buried his head in his hands, his voice now sounding muffled,

 “I just missed you so much…so I just ran up to you and started talking to you like a crazy person…It hurt so much when I realized you had no idea who I was…or at least pretended you didn’t. But I couldn’t just give up, so I worked hard and studied a lot, until a year ago I graduated and applied for a job in your company. It may sound pathetic but I just wanted to be near you…and see you smile and laugh, even though you didn’t know I even existed and I could only watch you from afar… I tried to prevent the accident from happening, but I failed miserably. That night, when you laid in my arms, I really thought you had died. I’m still seeing your dead body every night in my nightmares and I can’t stop blaming myself for not saving you...” 

“It’s not your fault.” The older said like so often these past couple weeks and wanted to hug Jason reassuringly but didn’t, because he was scared the younger would maybe disappear again, if he did.

There was a short silence, before he continued talking,

“So, you’ve warned me and even been in the same building as me, every single day, but I didn’t recognize you?”

Jason’s reply was a simple nod. Sehyoon chuckled, without any humor in it.

“That still doesn’t make any sense! You can’t be real…I mean, how could you?”

The younger sighed in frustration.

“I told you, I am! What do I need to do, to proof you, I’m telling the truth and finally convince you?” He wanted to know, crossing his arms in front of his chest and apparently slowly losing his patience.

Well, Sehyoon had always been the more patient one of them. Just after he had finished his last words, someone knocked on the closed door.  
  
“Sehyoon-ah! Are you in there? Can I come in?”

Right, his mother would come every second day and hadn’t been here yesterday, making today her visiting day, which he had totally forgotten. Sehyoon looked from Jason, who was staring at the door, back to the silhouette behind the little window, and he got an idea.  He would see, if he was the only one imagining things.

“Yes, come in!” He called.

His mother opened the door and entered the room, before stopping midway and staring at Jason in surprise.

“Oh, you are back?” She asked after a moment.

Jason smiled politely and nodded.

“I came back, some weeks ago…”

“That’s good…”

“Yeah…”

Sehyoon watched the whole, a little awkward conversation, astounded.

“Wait, you can see him?!” It slipped out of him.

Bewildered, his mother raised her eyebrows.

“Of course, I can see him, Sehyoon. Don’t be silly. He is the kind young man, I’ve told you about. The one who visited your nearly every day when you were in coma…”

The older immediately turned to Jason.

“You are K.B.?” He asked staggered.

Jason shrugged his shoulders and nodded cautiously.

“My Korean name, Kim Byeongkwan.”

Silence.

“Ähh...boys…” Sehyoon’s mother suddenly spoke up, apparently noticing that something was wrong, “I think I left something in the car. I’m just quickly gonna go, grab it and meanwhile, you two can talk…”

She was out of the room, before one of them even got the chance to answer anything, but they were too occupied staring at each other, anyways.  
  
“But…how?!” The older cried out.

Jason sighed.

“I asked myself the same thing, every single day, the past years and I still don’t know. But I kind of got a theory…or it’s more an idea, to at least explain a little bit what happened, because I don’t think there is a scientific explanation for how it’s possible…or how it happened…  
Anyway…God, where do I begin…?”

He made a short pause to organize his thoughts, before he continued,

“I’ve practically known you my whole life…Over ten years ago, we met for the first time, when I was ten and since then we lived together for around seven years…until I was 18.  Then you disappeared. One year later, I met you again, but you didn’t know me yet, because you would first meet me, after you fell into a coma, at the age of 25. I don’t know how it’s possible but I figured, and it probably sounds stupid, that your ghost…or spirit…I don’t know…somehow…traveled to me and not only in space but also time.”

He took a deep breath and proceeded in explaining his theory,

“What I want to say is, you traveled back in time and lived there together with me, until you got back into your real time again…finally knowing me.  
And now that you do, I mean finally knowing me,… you have no idea how happy that makes me…because I’ve waited for this moment so long and when you got into that accident, I thought the moment would never come. ”  
  
 Jason’s explanation ended, but Sehyoon remained silent.  After some time, the younger could not stand it any longer.

“I’m really real! You have to believe me…please, just say something!” He whined.

“I know it sounds impossible and everything, but me being here and your mother being able to see me, should be proof enough and—,” but Jason wasn’t being able to end his sentence, because right in that moment, Sehyoon suddenly rushed forward and pressed his lips on the ones of the younger, suffocating all his noises.

A surprised “Mmhpf” was everything he got out.

The kiss was everything. It wasn’t perfect, but it was Jason and that was actually quite the same. While kissing the younger, he put everything in it, he had wanted to tell him, since he had woken up in the hospital, with seemingly no chance to see the other ever again. All his longing and love, and when Jason kissed him back, right after he had overcome his astonishment, Sehyoon knew, he understood and felt the same. Slowly his hands wandered to Jason’s hair and the back of his neck, while the younger placed his own on Sehyoon’s chest. The time around them seemed to stand still and at the same time, move faster than normally. Sehyoon didn’t know how long their kiss already lasted, he only knew he wanted to do this for hours, when the sound of someone clearing his throat, let them jump apart immediately.

Shit, his mother was back, standing in the door with a bag in her hands and watching the whole show with a surprised face. Well, at least Sehyoon had no need for a coming out anymore.  With heat rising to his cheeks, he turned around, while protectively grabbing Jason’s hand. His mother’s expression was full of bafflement and her mouth was slightly opened to a silent “Oh”.  
  
“I…I can explain…,” Sehyoon stammered, feverishly searching for the right words to somehow explain, he had fallen in love with a boy, while lying in a coma, without sounding completely crazy.

But his mother was faster,

“So, he wasn’t just a friend after all…I should have known. I thought it was sort of…too much, to visit someone in a coma every day, while being just friends. And for such a short time that I didn’t even know him, too. And the stories he told you are also making sense now.”

She frowned.

“But why didn’t you tell me sooner? How long are you two…,” she stopped and sighed.

“Did you think, I would disown you or something?”

Sehyoon had no idea what he should reply and his mother took his silence seemingly as confirmation, because she started to look even more upset. He felt deeply sorry to her and wanted to tell her the truth, but he also knew that he would sound very much, like he had gone insane and so he decided it was better to let her stay in her own believes and just play along.  Suddenly his mother closed the distance between them and pulled Sehyoon into a tight hug, while softly stroking his hair. She hadn’t done this in years and he realized, how much he had missed the affection of his mother.

“You know, I could never do that.” She whispered.

“I love you too much and nothing can change that. Especially something like this. It’s maybe a little strange but in the end, I don’t care if the person that makes you happy is a woman or a man, as long as he or she is good to you and makes you feel like a better person. I know, I should have been there for you more, but always remember this, okay. I love you so much and I think…,” she awkwardly looked over to Jason, apparently searching for help.

He got the hint and cleared his throat.

“Jason,” he quickly said, his voice still a little hoarse.

She smiled at him warmly, before she looked back at her son again, to continue,

“I think that Jason will or probably already loves you just as much. He’ll take good care of you, like he did when you were lying in the coma and because of that, I don’t have to worry about you as much as I did before…because now you are finally not alone anymore.”

Sehyoon could have started crying right there, but he held it back. He had enough of tears. From now on he only wanted to laugh, with Jason by his side.  His mother let go of him again and turned to the younger.

“I always wanted to thank you for the last months. I know, we didn’t talk much, but you helped me a lot and I will never forget it. I couldn’t imagine a better partner for my son, even though I still have to get used to it more…I’m sorry.”

Jason shook his head, his face pink.

“No, it’s okay. My parents needed time too and their reaction wasn’t this calm…if they had seen us kiss back then…It wouldn’t have ended this well…”

The older looked at him worriedly and took his hand again.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t there to support you…”

Sehyoon knew how Jason’s parents could be sometimes.

“Is everything okay, now?” He asked.

The younger nodded and smiled.

“That was five years ago. They got used to it by now and everything is normal again. Even though, they’ll be a little worried about my mental health, when I tell them, my boyfriend’s name is Sehyoon…you know…”

Sehyoon’s eyes winded a little in surprise, before he couldn’t help himself but smile brightly, when Jason called him his boyfriend. If just everything could have gone this smoothly sooner…

“What is wrong with the name Sehyoon? I like it.” His mother unexpectedly wanted to know, crossing her arms in front of her chest and looking a little sulky.

“Nothing.” They both said in unison and looked at each other, widely grinning.

Sehyoon’s mother obviously didn’t look convinced.

“It’s kind of an…insider…” Jason explained.

“When I was a child, I had an imaginary best friend called Sehyoon. And I always dreamed of marrying him someday when I would be older.”

At the last part, he directly looked at Sehyoon, smiling and in this way shining like he was the sun himself and the older felt like his chest was about to explode, because of all the love and happiness he felt inside of it.  He returned the smile and squeezed Jason’s hand slightly.

“He probably did too,” he responded.

And he had to think about a quote, Jason had read to him, way back, at the beginning of Highschool,

_“Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are way too strange and strong to be coincidences. Emery Allen...”_

_After that he had looked at Sehyoon, in deep thoughts._

_“Do you believe in fate, Sehyoon?” He had asked and Sehyoon had softly smiled at him._

_“How else do you explain me being here?”_

Sometimes you just have to believe that everything will work out in the end and stop being scared of things which could possibly happen in the future. Sehyoon now knew that there was indeed fate in this world and he was more than ready to explore, what his life still had in store for him, but this time with Jason by his side. From now on they would properly challenge the universe together.

He pulled the younger into a tight hug and buried his face in his hair, taking in his scent which was so familiar and new at the same time, not caring that his mother was still watching them. 

“I love you…“ Sehyoon whispered quietly, only for Jason to be heard. He felt the other smile against his chest and then moving his lips to respond,

“I love you too.”

**_The end._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter in chapter 14 :)
> 
> (Sorry, this is long)
> 
> Omg shit guys. I’m writing this, right after I’ve written the last sentence of this ff and…I don’t know how to feel. It’s so hard to find the right moment to end, but I thought everything else would stretch this ff too long…even tho I miss it already. I loved writing it, srsly I had so much fun. And I’ll probably add some bonus chapter or something, because I had way too much fun writing this. Maybe I’m also gonna start a new ff someday (or firstly end the ones, I’m still writing on…lol) but because of school I have nearly no time T-T  
> It’s also the first story I’ve finished ever, so I’m really happy rn :”) I just always have way too many different ideas.  
> Never mind, I don’t want to hold you on, too long.  
> Pls comment how you liked my ff and maybe, if you would like to read some bonus chapters  
> Thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> Edit: It’s really the end now (also with posting) and yeah…I’m sad. But also happy, because the journey with you all was amazing <3 and there will be more soon :) I’m writing on a spinoff and a new ff (both about a.c.e, bc I love them and the fandom too much)  
> I wouldn’t have expected that so many people would read and like my ff (because of my English and everything…I’ve never really written something in English before) and this is srsly too long now, I know, I just want to tell you so much stuff and thank you all so much <3
> 
> I hope I’ll see you soon on other projects :D (I'll let you know about them soon)


	12. Information to new work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No new chapter, even tho there maybe will be one one day ^^

(Bonus chapter in chapter 14)

Soooo guyyys

 

The spinoff is here, so I just wanted to infrom you about that :D 

It's listed as the second part of "My imaginary friend", but it will be from Chan's point of view and play after the events of this ff.

Here is the summary,

 

Chan’s life is wild…well, actually not, but moving from America to Korea, just because your best friend tries to find his disappeared imaginary friend, and also first love, is wild enough for a whole life, in Chan’s opinion. Especially if this invisible friend seems to indeed be real and they are now living as a happy couple, leaving Chan as the lonely single best friend.  
However, everything goes even more downhill for him, when he finds out that one of Sehyoon’s best friends is his first crush from university, called Jun, who still thinks he is a weird stalker. Okay, he also called him cute but that didn’t really save his reputation…

 

You'll get further infromations there :) 

I hope to see some of you there and have a nice weekend 


	13. Second part of "My imaginary friend"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second part is finally here~ yay~

(bonus chapter in the next chapter)

So guys, I did it and uploaded the first chapter of the second part.   
I'm announcing this here, so everybody that is interestet can find out about it. You can simply go on my profile or click on the "My imaginary friend" series, bc I broke the whole "Next work" thing and it's not in the right order :") Sorry

You can also simply search for "Our imaginary future" because that is the work title, I decided on.

Now my a bit revised summary:

 

_“Without the past, there would be no future.”_

_After a fairy tale finishes, everything seems to be rainbows and happiness. A real happy end._  
_But usually the most problems come after marriage._

_Sehyoon and Jason also have to realize that, especially because their marriage is not even official or legal in South Korea and they have to fight the unacceptability every day._  
_Their happy end still lies in the distance and seems to become completely unreachable, after Jason finds himself in a parallel Universe where so many years ago, Sehyoon left his umbrella at home and because of that never got involved in the accident in the first place._

_Jason quickly discovers what consequences on their future this seemingly small change has and has to ask himself one question; "Is it maybe better like this?"_

_What would have happened if his plan to save Sehyoon would have worked back then?_

 

That's all :) I hope some of you will check it out and even like it <3 

See you there~


	14. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I didn't expect this to happen either, but here it is :D The final bonus chapter to probably my favorite ff <3
> 
> Because this ff just turned one year old today WUHU~ 
> 
> One year ago I decided to post this story and it was a really good decision bc I had (and still have) so much fun writing ffs and all your comments and support just means so much to me <3 so once again I want to thank all of you with this small bonus chapter :) I hope, you'll like it <3  
> (I'm sorry this is so short but I had a hard time finding enough time to even finish this TT)
> 
>  
> 
> (Also a big thank you to my friend Juuuuu for helping me copy all the stuff I wrote with hand bc I'm so damn busy TT I hate graduating and exams)

_**Sehyoon** _

 

Of course, his mother had to visit him at work on the most stressful day of the entire week. They were in the middle of a huge project and him being a newbie meant, he would be the first one to lose his job, if anything went wrong.

“Sehyoon-ah, tell me, how are you? I’m worried, since you never call us…”

“Mum, I visited you just last week. You know, I’m really busy at the moment. It feels like I’m practically drowning in work.”  The worried expression on his mother’s face deepened, while they stepped into the elevator. Apparently, she had cooked some food, she now wanted to give him which was really nice, but he couldn’t stop thinking of all the work that was piling up on his desk in the meantime.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you…I just thought the notes could be important for your work.” This made Sehyoon look up alarmed.

“Notes?”

“Yes, the ones you worked on, but forgot afterwards, because your boss called and you had to quickly leave all of a sudden.”

“You had them the whole time?!” Memories of him panickily searching for the papers for hours flashed in front of his eyes. Sehyoon had been desperate and now they turned out to have been at his parent’s place the entire time. Slowly he started massaging his temples.

“Why didn’t you just call me? I would have come, pick them up immediately.”

“I did…but you never answered your phone.” A sad smile appeared on her face and she put a comforting hand on his arm. “Sehyoon…just because your father wanted you to get this job that doesn’t mean you have to put yourself through all of this. Your health and happiness are more important to me than your success, I hope you know that….” He looked into his mother’s eyes which were filled with so much sympathy, so much love, and he thought about, just telling her the truth. To just admit, how much he hated to be unable to get enough sleep since every time he finished something, there seemed to only be even more work that needed to get done.

But then the image of his parents and how proud they had been, after he had gotten the job appeared in front of his eyes. His father would be so disappointed in him, if he just threw this opportunity – his future – away like this. So, Sehyoon just shook his head.

“I’m all right…I’m just a bit stressed, that’s all.” He didn’t think, he sounded really convincing, but maybe his mother simply wanted to believe him, because she just nodded and smiled.

“That’s my little boy. Always working so hard and fighting his way to the top. Even as a child, you’ve always been like that. I remember in elementary school you had to draw your family and everyone only drew their parents and siblings but you asked me to show you pictures of your grandparents and grand grandparents, so you could draw them as angels in the sky that were watching over us.” Sehyoon couldn’t help but smile at the fond memory. How much he wished to go back to those times and this age, at which he had been so carefree.

By now they had left the company building and dived into the busy streets in front of it.

"Where did you park your car?" He asked his mother who pointed at something in the distance. Well that was a detailed description...

They crossed the street and Sehyoon was already thinking about what to do first back at work, now that he would finally get back his notes, when his mother suddenly punched him in the side with her elbow. 

"Ah...what did I do?!" Sehyoon exclaimed surprised, rubbing the hurting part. 

"Could it be that the boy is calling for you?" 

He frowned. What was she talking about? In that moment he heard someone shouting his name and he turned around. There was indeed a boy running towards them, looking as if he actually belonged in Highschool right now instead of the street, though he was not wearing a school uniform. 

But what did he want from him? How did he know his name? Sehyoon was pretty sure he had never seen him before. The boy came to a halt in front of them, panting heavily

"Finally, you waited." He got out before looking at him with big vulnerable eyes full of excitement which quickly vanished at Sehyoon addressing him,

"Is there something, I can help you with?" The boy's eyes widened and for some seconds, he only stared at Sehyoon without replying anything. Had he said something wrong? However, in that moment the other opened his mouth only to confuse Sehyoon even more.  


"I...I have something important to tell you." He raised his head eyebrows. This was getting more and more strange.  


"Okay, go on…"  


"I know it sounds crazy…but you have to believe me! Your life depends on it." If Sehyoon had thought this couldn't get any weirder, he definitely had been wrong. The boy took a deep breath, obviously feeling nervous.  
  
“When you are around 26 years old, you’ll get hit by a truck and die. I actually thought you are already dead, but then I saw you on TV and I just had to come and tell you. Maybe you can somehow prevent it! How old are you right now? Oh, you can’t cross any streets! You got hit while crossing one…on a day, you had a date with a woman you liked…” Sehyoon stared at him dumbly. Did the boys seriously want him to believe all of this? Was this some kind of joke?

“I can’t remember more, but that’s what you’ve told me, so you—”  
  
"Do I know you?" He asked, simply interrupting the other. He didn’t have enough time for stupid jokes like this right now.

"W…what..?" The younger stammered, something similar to fear flashing over his face.  
  
“You just said that apparently, I’ve told you this stuff but I can’t even remember having ever met you before. Do you think this is funny? Is death a funny topic to you, about which you and your friends can laugh? Are they hiding somewhere and watching? Are you winning something out of this?!”  
  
He didn't really know why, but for some reason he suddenly felt extremely angry. He hadn't been able to sleep properly for weeks, was starving since there had been no time for lunch yet and all the time he spent standing here, listening to this nonsense of a highschool boy who told him he would probably die soon, let the unattended pile of work on his desk grow taller and taller.  
Now the boy definitely looked frightened.

“No, I would never..." But Sehyoon had enough of his lies.  
  
“You should be in school, doing something meaningful and study for a good life instead of bothering other people that have better things to do.”

“But I’m telling the truth, you have to believe me…”

Sehyoon only shook his head in disappointment and unbelief. He had always used his free time to study and even now he was still working hard, but it seemed like students nowadays had enough spare time to bother strangers. He turned to his mother,

"Let's go. My break is nearly over and you still couldn't give me my notes, I forgot." He turned away, not sparing the boy another glance. Apart from being stressed, the despair in the other's face made him feel uneasy. He was just about to simply walk away, when the boy raised his voice again, making him lose his temper eventually,

“Please, you have to believe me! Sehyoon!”

"Don't call my name ever again! I don't even know you, so leave me alone!"

After his outburst he turned back around to his mother who looked at him with an in shock opened mouth, and then quickly walked away.

“Sehyoon! Wait!” She called after him and he slowed down a bit, so she could catch up to him.

“What did just happen there? Do you know him?” Sehyoon shook his head, the anger still boiling inside of him, but it got mixed with guilt, when he thought of the terrified face of the boy, after he had screamed at him like this.

“That was probably only a stupid joke or something…”

“But what did he mean, when he said you would die in a car accident?” Sehyoon sighed annoyed, the thoughts in his head being a mess.

“I don’t know. I told you, it was just a silly joke, so don’t worry about it. His mother glanced at him, nervously gnawing on her lips.

“And what if it really was the truth?” At this Sehyoon only snorted humorless.

“Well, I’ll find out eventually, right?”

* * *

 

**_3 years later_ **

Sehyoon had probably never ran faster in his life. He needed to get in the elevator, before the doors closed or he would be too late for work and that would mean a lecture by his boss. Slowly but too fast, the doors closed and even though, he gathered his last remaining energy to speed up even more, it was already too late, the people inside the elevator disappearing behind steel. Sehyoon silently cursed in his head and slowed down, frustration washing over him. He might have gotten a promotion, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t lose it again.

He was just debating whether it would be faster to take the stairs than waiting for the elevator to come back, when he felt how he collided with something which turned out to be a young man, screaming up surprised, while he fell to the floor and covered it with paper.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I somehow didn’t see you there. Wait. I’m going to help you.” Sehyoon immediately apologized, feeling more than guilty for having run over the other and held out a hand to the guy, who looked up at him with an angry expression. However, as soon as their eyes met, his expression changed to something like surprise and shock and for some reason Sehyoon got the feeling that he had seen this face before, somewhere else. He frowned.

“Do I know you?” Maybe they had worked together at some point in the past? However, the other looked like he hadn’t worked here for a long time yet. The eyes of the man widened and he shook his head.

“I don’t think so…I only recently started working here.” That confirmed what Sehyoon had just thought. He probably confused him with someone else…maybe there was a popular idol who looked similar?

“Ah…sorry…You just kind of looked familiar…” He apologized once again, before glancing at his hand that was still awkwardly hanging in the air between them. “By the way, is there something wrong with my hand?”

“Huh?” The other looked at him confused for some seconds, then his eyes fell on the hand and he started blushing embarrassed.

“Oh no, of course not!” He quickly grabbed Sehyoon’s hand and the latter helped him get up from the floor. However, instead of letting go again, he kept on holding it and Sehyoon cleared his throat awkwardly since he didn’t know what else to do. Immediately the man let go, now blushing even more.

Meanwhile, Sehyoon bend down and collected all the papers that were scattered on the floor, before handing them to the other with a smile.

“Th…thanks.” He stammered.

“No problem, it’s my fault after all. Again, I’m sorry. It’s just…” Sehyoon hesitated for a moment, thinking about what to say, “I want to ask someone out on a date today and I must be more nervous than I thought, I would be.” That hadn’t been the reason at all…so why was he lying? “And I have no idea, why I’m telling you all this…” He ended lamely and laughed in embarrassment. Why did the other make him so nervous? He pushed the call button, using this opportunity to hide his flushed cheeks.

“A…date?” The man asked and for some reason he sounded like the thought of Sehyoon asking someone out was a horrible one. He only nodded. He had planned asking out his female collogue for a while and even though the other might not like it – for whatever reason – he thought it was a good decision. She was smart, pretty and would definitely fit his parent’s taste. But why did the man care? They didn’t even know each other.

“Yes, if everything goes well, I’ll ask her to have dinner with me tomorrow…why?” He couldn’t help but ask eventually. “Scared I’ll steal your crush? Don’t worry, I think you are a little too young for her anyways.” The elevator arrived with a _ping_ they both stepped inside. Of course, it was empty since no one else was stupid enough to risk losing their job…well except him and the other guy who looked a lot more upset about that fact than Sehyoon. He was shifting from one foot to the other, nervously glancing at Sehyoon while the elevator moved upwards. Right, he probably had to fear for his job more than Sehyoon himself since he was a newbie, just like he had been one three years ago.

“Actually…I…” The man suddenly spoke up, only to hesitate and start again, “Actually, I hoped…uhhh…I wanted to ask you, if you would like to maybe…” once again he stopped, before continuing, “have dinner with me sometimes…” Sehyoon just stared at him baffled and it took him some seconds to realize that this man, he didn’t even know, had just asked him out on a date.

“Oh…” was everything, he got out, not knowing what else to respond. His brain seemed frozen and he observed the other; his soft, pretty features, his eyes with this scared but at the same time determined shimmer, and just for a short moment, Sehyoon thought about what would happen if he said yes.  He had no idea, why he suddenly felt this urge to agree to the offer, after all, he was straight, or at least he needed to be. How selfish would he be otherwise?

“I’m sorry but…I’m…I don’t” He stammered and nervously ran a hand through his hair, “I’m straight.” At this the other started laughing and if Sehyoon hadn’t been confused before, he definitely was it now. What was there to laugh about?

“Are you sure about that?” The man asked, a grim smile on his face and his eyes seemed to pierce through Sehyoon and pin him to the wall of the elevator. Suddenly he felt anger boiling up inside of him. Because no, he was not sure about this at all, but nobody was supposed to know and why did this stranger think he knew more about Sehyoon than he himself? Why did Sehyoon feel like he actually did?

“Yes, I am.” He snapped back, his defenses having gone up completely on their own. “I mean, how would you know about this better than me? And why would I go on a date with someone I don’t know anyways?” The snort that came out of the other’s mouth at this only upset Sehyoon even more. It was obvious that for some reason the man was angry now too…maybe because of the rejection.

“You don’t know your date either, am I right?” He shot back, “I know you better than you will ever know her. I mean, you are not even sure, if you like her. You only want to date her, because your parents will like it!” Sehyoon stared at him with an open mouth, unbelieve washing over him. Sehyoon was just about to ask, how the hell he was able to know this and if he was maybe even stalking him, when the elevator came to a halt and the other man left quickly, the paper tightly pressed against his chest.

Sehyoon stared after him in complete confusion, until the doors closed themselves again. His emotions were a mess. Who was this strange guy and what had he just done to him?

Later that day, he did ask out his collogue on a date, but for some reason it felt wrong.

* * *

 

The next day everything was back to normal. Sehyoon had told his parents about the date and they had been thrilled, just as he had expected which strengthened his believe again that he was doing the right thing.

The only thing that disturbed his good mood was, when he spotted the guy from the day before in the cafeteria who quickly looked away, after Sehyoon caught him staring. He frowned.

“Do you know who this guy is?” He asked his co-worker and pointed at the other without even trying to be subtle about it.

“Oh, I think I’ve seen him around a couple of times. He is one of the new kids, fresh from university. But I can’t really remember his name…Kim something…Kim Byeongwun? Sorry, I can’t remember. The only thing I heard is that he grew up in the States. Mr. Lee was thrilled to finally have someone with native English skills in our section.” This gained Sehyoon’s interest.

“You work with him?”

“Like I said, I only see him around, we don’t really talk or anything but yes…I do. I have never seen anyone being this desperate to be able to work here. You should pay attention or else he’ll overtake your title as the most ambitious one here.” His collogue started to laugh but Sehyoon didn’t join in. Instead he observed the elevator guy with even more interest. For some reason he was fascinating Sehyoon. 

 _Kim Byeongwun…or whatever your name might be, I’ll definitely keep an eye on you_ , he thought and smiled at the man who was too focused on his food to notice, before also shifting his attention back to his own food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Sehyoon's view of the whole thing :) I tried to write it really fitting which was kinda hard since I wrote the other chapter nearly a year ago hahah  
> Gosh time flies and it's amazing that even now people still read and like this ff <3 Thank you all so much and I have to hurry now bc I'm so late omg 
> 
> I would love to talk to you on my Twitter <3 -->[Babbling](https://twitter.com/Babbl1ng)
> 
> Byeee guys (ahhhhh I'm sooo late TT)


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